Shubham Nath

Trying my hand at writing again

2012-01-05T15:04:00.002+05:30

As anyone would guess, i am writing a post after ages, and even as i wrote some posts in the recent times, the frequency and content has been minimal.

I am trying really hard to be back in sync with my writing skills, i enjoyed it, but I dont know why i cant write again...i dont think i have lost the creativity, because creativity is more of nature than acquisition of a habit over the years. Still whenever i start typing on this mundane editor i just go blank - i dont know why!!

And then when i go back to the good ol' days when i was doing all the writing on this blog - i realize the situation that i was in then; and what appears unique was the fact that i was going through a period of huge emotional challenge, and it was my first independent encounter with the "big-bad-world" outside as a full grown adult. And all the badness of the world was teaching me so may lessons that my creativity had enough trigger to outflow.

I am in a unique situation again, it is a first of lots of things in my life. I am hoping that the same creativity will flow out once again just like before and that before the list of first starts getting overcome by the mundanity of day-to-day life I would have rejoiced the pleasure of writing, yet again!!

Why India should win CWC 2011....

2011-03-25T15:41:00.005+05:30

I am no cricket expert, and have been reduced to an infrequent follower owing to paucity of time and often patience (with most forms of the game demanding the most useful part of your day - it is often difficult to even stay updated). But for whatever little i know of cricket, and especially of Indian cricket, i know about one man "Sachin Tendulkar".
He needs no introduction, and often no description, he is no stranger to cricket and feels like the guy next door to every Indian. He is the one whom a di-syllabically blessed growing up infant in India could name, and he is the one whom even a disinterested cricket fanatic would have heard of. If u live in India, no matter which genre, segment or portion of the country/society u reside in, you would have definitely heard of him - thats the omnipresence of Sachin's personality in India!
When u talk of sports - u exemplify his passion, when u talk of cricket - u eulogize his talent, when u talk of field presence - u highlight his attitude, when u talk of commitment - u say Indian cricket is indeed blessed!
No wonder the cricketing community describes him as God, and it would be only fair to say Sachin has fewer fans than he has "disciples".They worship him, revere him, love him, praise him, salute him, bless him.....and for many he is the only reason why they follow cricket!
There is so much said, written and heard about Sachin that a novice like me can never do justice to the same, but why I even attempted to describe him at this point of time is because he has given 20+ years to Cricket, and is perhaps the last worldcup he is playing in his international cricketing career (although with his passion i wont be surprised if he squeezes in another one ...but to be honest that will be too much to ask from an aging sportsmen).
At the beginning of the Cricket World Cup 2011 India were arguably favorites to win the cup, although critics have never refrained from banishing their chances of a victory - some times on ground of batting, sometimes bowling, sometimes fielding, and more often than not because of teamwork. My knowledge of cricket is so rudimentary that forming an opinion on India's chances is a distant thought - even agreeing/disagreeing with the critics is often a task for me. I dont know whether its fair to call Indian cricket team the favorites for the cup, i dont even know if they bat/bowl/field well or not, and as i said i am no expert, no critic, not even a fair fan, but i know for sure - if there is one reason why India should win the Cricket World Cup 2011, it is HIM - this is his last chance!

A sigh of relief!

2010-12-20T23:31:00.004+05:30

One of my most hated places in Mumbai city is the American consulate. Not that the rest of Mumbai is any more lovable for me, but this is definitely not the place i would crave for, and especially if its early morning office hours. The scene outside the consulate on the main road can be described as a swarming beehive, with all aspiring applicants buzzing in anticipation to be mated with the queen bee aka 'the consulate interviewing officer' - the only difference being that there are multiple queen bees (interviewing officers) instead of the single one in the actual beehives, and to make it worse - i have heard that in recent times the consulate has undergone expansion, meaning more queen bees, hence more drones and the worst - more buzzing!!
A typical writer would describe to u the anxiety of the applicant and how overwhelming the crowd over there makes one feel, but i guess i have something more interesting to tell - so let me detour. My recent visit to the consulate was in mid-December - while most parts of the world look forward to festivities at this time of the year, we Indians enter the sabbatical from one of the biggest festivities of our lives "weddings" - actually between the mid of December and mid of January due to Hindu calendar showing inauspicious dates weddings get stalled in India. But the brighter side of this period is that you get to see many more newly weds (those who got married in the pre-sabbatical wedding period) or newly engageds (those who are waiting to get married in the post-sabbatical wedding period)- whether you bump into them doing the new household shopping at supermarkets or in the finger-lock around the malls and movies - they seem to be ubiquitous. The American consulate on that morning was not spared of this ubiquity either!
Right in front of my eyes was a newly wed, wherein the woman's bangles were shinning so bright under the scorching sun, i almost felt i would turn blind if i looked at it for too long. I guess the idea of donning them was to just shove it into the interviewing officers' face and ask him to approve the visa as a ransom...lol. But as i said, i could not strain my eyes looking at the lady's bangles for too long, so i just bowed my head trying to spot some pebbles to trot, just then my eyes paused at another newly wed's footwear - it had some kind of mirror or reflectors (to be precise), believe me they were causing such great reflections of the shining sun that i thought when she enters the consulate office she may set the fire alarms ablaze and may give rise to an emergency situation. As it is the consulate is such a sensitive area, i thought this was the minimum precaution madam should have taken when cladding herself. Anyway, the visa rules don't make any allusions to the loud dressing sense of applicants, so the newly weds can take all liberties...and boy they were really taking liberties!
Right at the beginning of the line was a lady- who looked like she hailed from south India - i could tell from her south silk Saree - bright maroon with the golden zari conveying her newly wed status loud and clear. I wandered my eyes on her for some time - observing her obsession with the crisp pleats that she had set around her waist and bosom. I think she wanted to enter the consulate in the most prim and proper saree the interviewer would have ever seen ...as if that was the basis of getting her visa approved...lol
All around me I could see every third woman carrying a huge file like looking thing, which after a few glances around i realized, were wedding albums. They are gotten to the consulate to show the interviewer authenticity of the wedding status. As most of these ladies who travel to united states after their wedding travel as Dependants of their husband, it is an imperative to prove as much of the dependency as one possibly can. While getting bored, in the long ever-lasting queue outside the American consulate, I actually wished that one of those ladies would offer to run me through their albums - u know wedding albums are real good time-pass activities.
Looking for more entertaining stuff i ran my eyes across the length of the line to see what proportion of interviewees were newly wed. They say - Indian weddings, no matter in whichever part of India, never disappoint u with their celebration. Even, as the celebration of weddings died they echoed in 70% of the interviewees that day at the consulate. What a statistic: Nearly 70% of Indians entering USA in the next few weeks will be newly wed!! - and we though the great Indian consumer growth story was limited to India alone...we forgot about the diaspora!!
The entertainment i had that morning was good...and it also brought back the memories from my Visa interview some 3 years ago. Of course those memories werent as entertaining because i was not applying for the newly wed dependent visa myself and neither was it the post wedding season of India (although few newly weds were still seen- u know na recession ho ya inflation India mein shaadiyan to hoti hi hain.
When i had awed at the album carrying newly weds 3 years ago, my coworker had mocked me then - he said "Don't laugh at them, for all u know u could be standing here in this line in the next few months, carrying the load of your wedding album"...I had laughed at his comment resenting it from my heart and shrugging off at it because you never know what the future has in store for you. Three years later, i was still laughing at that comment, only much more confident this time and sighing relief at the fact that i never got into that queue again!!

I am learning to appreciate the obvious!!

2008-07-08T22:30:00.002+05:30

As a child brought up in the northern part of the country, I was introduced to the sight of hijras rather early in life. In fact I should say that I was introduced to the concept with a positive flavor. They often said in Delhi, "seeing a hijra, on way to work is a very auspicious sign".
I spent my childhood laughing at this very thought, and also at the same time I worked out a plausible justification for why it is so said; and the justification was nothing but what is conveyed by the gazal 'dil ko khush karne ke liye Ghalib ye khayal achha hai'. Indeed, when u see a sight as repulsive as a hijra, u have none better to convince yourself than saying "you are likely to have a nice day". So be it!!
While I never took this belief/superstition so seriously in life, in recent times I did start acknowledging the fact that I sighted a hijra, whenever I did. Infact, in Mumbai i have noticed hijras ask around for money like beggars ask for alms at red lights. Of course the hijras exhibit much more vanity in the way they accost the whole business of asking for what the giver may believe is alms. Eversince in Mumbai (two years now, oh my God!!...time just flies) i make it a point to give these hijras some money whenever they accost me for the same. In fact nowadays even before they approach i fish out my wallet for the smallest notes i have..."Note" - yes I did say "Note"...i never give hijras coins...for the sheer pride with whch they open out their palms. I would rather be deemening them by giving them coins, so I prefer the more expensive way out.
As far as them being auspicious, I am still not sure if that superstition is completedly described using only the word "auspicious", because my personal observation is that whenever I come across a hijra, my day/evening is spent tackling and appreciating what is so obvious in life, which we otherwise can never appreciate. For instance, only when I see a hijra that i manage to appreciate my obvious right of being epithet "madam" by any Tom, Dick or Hari on the street. Yes, whenever I see a hijra, I end up in a situation which though is difficult, but fondles the very obvious foundations of my life, and the realisation of the very presence of them in my life gives me immense pleasure, eventually.
Today was one such day, I encountered a hijra at the marol naka red light, on my way back from work. I handed it a ten rupee note, and allowed it to place its palm on my head. I must confess, it gives me a feeling of charity alongwith appreciating the ignored obviousness of life whenever I see a hijra. And not to forget the fact that it does fill me with the anticipation of something auspicious likely to happen. After all, childhood foundations, are deep seated, and though life may want to teach me otherwise, I wont deny that I am waiting for something auspicious to happen today!!

Searching for passion!!

2008-05-26T15:22:00.004+05:30

Gaddu called me up last week, to tell me a story which he read in the local delhi newspaper (or maybe it was national news, but since i rarely pick up the papers, i really dont know if it was that famous an incident).
The story was based out of a small village in haryana, wherein a boy & girl madly in love with each other were turned down for marraige by the girl's parents. Determined to unite & attracted by the idea of being paidby the govt of a social massacre, the couple considered & successfully killed 7 members of the girl's family. The accomplice of the crime was none other than the girl herself, and after the guy killed 6 members of the family & refused to kill the seventh- a child, the girl volunteered herself.
Coming from Gaddu, such a story wasnt surprising, considering he is famous for all kinds of wierdity.But what was important was the point he raised alongwith. What he insisted on was the passion that instigated the couple to take up an act as grave as this. I am sorry to say, that I did agree with him!!
Most people may say that we are saddists because we appreciate a story of this sort. But I must say, not appreciating this is like demeaning someone's passionate fervor. 'Passion' I believe, is the underlying word of this incident, and three cheers to it!!...If someone can go to such an extent for the sake of love...i think asking whether they deserve that love, is only folly...howveer, this world is full of fools and foolishness!!
There is ofcourse a practical aspect to it all, the fact that most probably the couple will have a lifelong honeymoon behind the bars...but if i were the adjuricator for this case, in my heart of heart i would have definitely granted forgiveness, though bound by duty i may have done othewise...
Where do people get so much passion from, what are these people composed of...and why is it that i have come across nearly none such people in my life (though good for my life, varna pata laga out of passion someone killed me too;))...I dont want to die out of someone's passion, but i want to be the sheer spectator of passion of this magnitude...i really wonder if it was only unique to this couple, or it does exists elsewhere too!!

My interpretation of tradition

2008-05-05T02:38:00.004+05:30

For those of you who are guessing, that modern art has become indeed very modern, lemme eplain...

This was the diagram that i created for my niece's birth ceremony (called chhatti). My niece (cousin brother's daughter) born on the 18th of April, had to have a birth ceremony done to her. To mark the birth of a child, the child's paternal aunt is suppose to make this masterpiece and apply kohl to the new born. For the same purpose I flew into Bangalore last week and did the needful. This was indeed my maiden experience at doing this ceremony, and believe me I was very excited about both the application of kohl, and the creation of this piece of art (which is very evident from the fact that i have decided to dedicate a post to it).
For those of you (and I guess that's most of you) who dont understand the gibberish smeared on the yellow chart paper, let me bridge the gap between the traditional drawing requirements and my artistic talents.
To begin with, the borders' zigzag lines are nothing more than aesthetic designs. They have no significance whatsoever, they are just meant to beautify this piece of art, and mitigate the meaning engraved in it(not intentional though). Beginning with the distorted H like things on the top. They are seven in number, and are supposedly Siva mai's 7 houses (now please dont ask me what that means, i have no clue!!). I did try to find out who this siva mai was, whose houses i have been bestowed to architect. But i am sorry, i didnot get any conclusive answers from the elders around me who were chaperoning me to create this. Some hints that did come up were, that she is Lord Siva's mother, or may be Godess Parvati (Lord Siva's wife)...nobody could say for sure.
In the next line, there are a series of things, to begin with there is the moon & the sun (which is diagramatically not so difficult to decipher). The reason for making these is that it conveys that we pray to God that the light of the sun & moon always illuminate the child's future.
Shifting a little down from the line, what I made was a lipstick. Being a female child, all necessary accessories that she may need in the future are drawn, and God is prayed to make them available to her. Now I really wonder whether this Godess really knows what a lipstick is, and whether my drawing conveyed the exact message. If it didnt then i hope she is reading this post ;)
Anyways, even if she is not reading this, the girl may end up having ample lipsticks(its common these days!!), which can help her develop into a hot babe. Vaise I some times wonder if this prayer of making lipsticks available in order to make girl child babe types really works. What makes me doubt it is that, even my mom must have had this diagram made from my paternal aunt...then how come i never became the hot babe.....?????
Coming back to the series of items in the long line, the next is a vermillian case (sindhauda, as we call it), it is suppose to be a storage case of vermillion, which is suppose to be the most important accessory of a married Indian woman. Makes sense, to pray to God to make this available to the girl in the future.
Next, what looks like a sharp-toothed lethal weapon, is actually a comb. Again an accessory. Infact this time a unisex accessory, though more frequently and needfully used by girls.
Next, is an isometric view of a cuboid, with some ray-like things emanating from it. This actually is a mirror. I could have well put that as a question in paanchvi pass se tez, and had the contestant out of the competition!! But come to think of it, a mirror is difficult to depict diagramatically, lest it is concave or convex, and u have to draw some ray diagrams associated with it.
Right below the mirror is a palanquin (doli), which is usually associated with a girl's wedding in India.
Right of the mirror, is a kohl case (kajrauti, as they call it). Kohl is a dual purposed accessory for a girl in the Indian society. Not only does it beautify one's eyes, it also protects one from evil eyes. But i really wonder how many girls in our generation would use a kajrauti like that for accesorizing themselves with kohl.
The next is a flower, which most women like, so assuming the new born will have future liking for it, it is there.
The last two items are beetle leaf (paan)& supari. Now thats pretty contraversial. I mean, parents dont really want to push their kids towards any habit forming edibles. Having drawn this is like an open invitation to the new born to adopt habits of the nature of consuming tobacco, smoking, drinking etc. Anyway, why it is there is because a beetle leaf is considered very auspicious in hinduism. So hopefully if we manage to convey the message in the latter format, the child may avoid habit forming substances like beetle leaves.
Since I had ample blank space below these items i just made a garland, and i guess that did help beautify the whole chart.
All in all, I thought it was a very stupid exercise to do. Though I thank my niece for coming into this world and giving me the joy, along with the experience of something as stupid as this!!

Modesty vs. Arrogance

2008-05-02T18:33:00.003+05:30

Today is my last working day at Bank of America. Usually a last day post will elicit the mixed feelings that one goes through, and how the past experience makes one feel heavy while the anticipation of a better future enstills excitement...and blah blah...but this wont be the usual last working day post.
I will tell you something very intersting that I am going through today. Each time I meet someone in office today, they ask me where am I moving too and what kind of role is it, some even went on to asking me what title I would be holding in my new position. Now the last part is where I got stuck with, when most people did the interrogation. Not that the title I am moving on to is not worthy of a public display, infact it very much is - it is Associate Vice president with HSBC bank (that sure sounds something!!) but I just didnt feel like telling this to everyone (there were very few people whom I told this to). One obvious reason I can think of, is 'modesty'. I didnt want to brag about my new title. But how come modesty struck me on this day when I should be flaunting my achievement. And in fact I am a pretty brash person, very arrogant at times too. As I wonder about all this, I am reminded of my own philosophy about modest & arrogant people.
I ardently belive that : Arrogant people know their worth, while Modest people always doubt it.
Delving into my own philosophy i realise that the reason why i decided to be modest about my new title is that, perhaps I am not worthy of it!! Which is not very surprising, at 25 years of age, and less than 2 years of corporate experience i am graduating into a managerial role, it is definitely an achievement worth bragging about(which i prefer to handle modestly). Infact when i was being interviewed for this role (the two rounds of interview i had), the main focus of the interviwer was on taking assurance from me that i will be able to handle the challenge of managing a team. They went about recurrently asking me "do u think u have the requisite eperience and ability to handle a team?"...when this question came repeatedly i felt like asking them if i was being intrviewed for the post of AVP or if i am being asked to replace Naina Lal Kidwai. Anyway, that doesnt look like the case now that i have thoroughly read the details in my offer letter. But i still thought both my rounds of interview were quite strange, in one of them the interviewer was trying to be sure if i would be stable in the role for the long run so he asked me "why i was looking for a change after only 18 months at Bank of America?". I thought that was stupid because in my opinion 18 months is pretty good time in an organisation (difinitely not questionable). On the lighter side however, i wanted to tell him in Bunty & Babli style, "ye jo world hai na world, isme do tarah ke log hote hain, ek jo sari zindagi ek hi kaam karte hain, aur dusre jo ek hi zindagi mein saare kaam kar dalte hai...i am the second variety, who wants to work in all kinds of banks in this lifetime"...thank God i didnt blurt this out or else the interviewer would have said, "Good, you are in the right city, but perhaps the wrong address, Goregaon film city is only a few kms from here!!"
Coming back to the point, i think i will have to part from my arrogance for some time in my new job, untill I gain complete confidence on myself that i am actually worthy of the title and role that i have been awarded. I dont think I should mind that, changing roles at times have their own advantage and own set of fun...so best of luck to me in my new endeavour....thanks!!

Context is Everything

2008-05-01T16:06:00.004+05:30

My first year course at IITK, MBA611: Organisational Theory& Structure, introduced me to a saying by my professor which by far is my favorite of the several that I have heard from him. He said(not once but several times), Context is Everything. Several cases, several pieces of literature & many practical life situations thereafter went to bolster what he said. However, today I experienced something which made me add to this. Apart from the context, it is also composition of a person that defines his reaction to a certain situation. Infact, if we look at these two words deeply, we can easily relate the fact that somewhere both- context & composition can be traced back to the same meaning. Here, I am not eliciting the redundancy of the length of English vocabulary. Rather I am trying to drive to the fact that what a person is made up of (his composition), often becomes a part of the 'context' when it comes to dealing with him/her. There could be more to the context when you meet/interact or whatever with him/her, but one cannot deny that his/her composition is a subset of the context in which one lands up with him/her.
Where I am coming from is, a lot of times I rebuke people who are weak, I rebuke them for not standing up for what they believe they want. I think they are worthless, useless fellows because they just cant chase things with the same passion as I do. What I often forget is that my definition of 'wothlessness'or 'uselessness' is derived from what I think I am worthy of or what I think I am useful for. I think I am a strong woman, who has the desire & ability to chase her dreams, she can stand up for her ideas, her beliefs, and thats it!! In extreme times, I think everyone should be like this. What I dont realise is that these things are sure my strengths, but that doesnt mean that every strong person, every determined individual is worthy of life on earth; whereas every weak and not-so-determined person is worthless. We humans often, have the tendency of defining all good words in our dictionary in the same tone & magnitude of our personal nature/behavior - our composition, while all the negative words are meant for the things from which we are poles apart.

I came across someone who after having gone steady with a girl for two-long-years is soon getting into an arranged marraige. I always doubted if he had a real interest in the girl whom he was dating, but after having spoken to him I realised that perhaps it was love. What surprises me however is that, instead of standing up for his love and fighting it out to marry the girl whom he loves, he has chosen to live in remembering her every day of his life (I dont know for how long, though). He prefers to survive in a guilt of unfulfilled promises & anguish of unrealised dreams rather than come out in the open and say that he really wants to get married to her. I guess some people are just good guilt-managers than belligerent-social-fighters. How much i would have loved to tell that guy, "boss...u r wrong!...u must come out and fight for what you want". But just when I wanted to tell him that today, I realised that not everyone in this world is composed of the same ingredients, he & I for sure are not!! If I were him I would have handled this otherwise, but then I am me & he is he...and thats where the compositions play role in setting the context of a situation.
The intersting point here is however, how is life different for fighters like me and guilt-bearers like him in the long run. I am too naive to understand & assess if guilt is just a coward mechanism of avoiding social confrontation for him, for all you know things actually fall in place after some time. Also i fail to justify whether fighters like me screw up relations & good will for something that may recede & mitigate with the tide of time. The answer to this ambiguity lies in the adage 'wait & watch'...how long 'I dont know'.
However, without having to wait to watch, I can give a fictional example of what eventually happens... I read this book called 'Kite Runner' by Khaled Hosseini; he had these two characters Hassan- the fighter & Aamir- the guilt-bearer. Both were best friends. Hassan being the servant boy of Aamir was bound not only by duty to serve Aamir but also by desire. He would fight to the cost of small promises made to Aamir. And Aamir would not even come to his rescue, even if he were the silent spectator of sexual abuse on his friend. In due course of time, Hassan- the fighter owing to his low status is left to fight the trying conditions of a disturbed country while Aamir owing to his power & status flees to a life of comforts. Even as Aamir flees, he carries with him a baggage of guilt, to a new land where no one other than his own solitude could even have a whisp of what went wrong between Aamir & Hassan. But guilt accompanied Aamir all the way, to the extent of bringing him back to his home-land for what the writer claims is 'Redemption'. This is fiction however, where the guilt-bearer is designed to get an opportunity for redemption, and the fighter fights with valor all that he could.
They say, life goes a full circle, and as I see the real-life situation, the guy is still designing only a point and measuring its distance from the centre. His choice of surviving in the guilt of unfulfilled promises, looks like a dream of making several more equidistant points from the centre. Whether his life goes a full-circle or not, I dont know, what I know for sure is that people in this world have variagated compositions & assuming that you would bump into one of your kind is indeed a mistake. Thoguh we cannot bring everyone to a homogenous comosition, what we must learn & appreciate is the existence of the heterogenity. Just as each one of us is composed of different ingredients, we will all create different contexts of the same situation. Yes, Prof. Rahul Varman summed it right 'Context is everything!!'

Adding legitimacy to bride-hunting

2008-04-29T15:57:00.003+05:30

If I keep talking about marraige & related issues, my age and that of my friends' circle is to be blamed for it. Also the unique phenomena of arranged marraige (unique to the Indian culture vis-a-vis cultures over the world) often creates interesting material for writing, which is another driver for me for writing on the subject of marraige so often.
Recently, I was talking to one of my friends, with regards to a guy whom she had met for the purpose of matrimonial alliance. She had complained after the meeting that the guy was too shy and probably didnt match upto her. She also mentioned that the guy rejected her even before she could use his shyness as an excuse to reject him. Shyness I thought, that was a lame excuse to reject him considering that first meetings could be pretty unnerving for many guys. Especially those guys who arent used to talking to girls, and i must say such a segment in our society is indeed a majority if not available in ubiquity. Shocking but true, that inspite of the era of liberalisation, the men seem to be still living in a cocoon while the women have hatched out & going guns over the cocooned specie.
Anyway coming back to my friends and her opinion about the guy whom she met, I granted her the fact that the guy didnt match up to her for the sheer reason that even other than matrimony, a lot of guys that we had known in our MBA days stood no chance in front of her flair & smartness.
Probing her further on the issue, on another follow-up call, she told me that the guy whom she had met in the one-off date which was suppose to materialise into life-long matrimony, had recently got in engaged to a batchmate of his whom he had been seeing during his college days. She also added, that his apparent shyness was owing to his non-chalance for materialising the meeting into anything beyond, and also the fact that he didnt try and match up to the girl he was meeting(inspite of being MBA from one of the top institutions in the country) was a deliberate attempt to look and seem dumb. Reason for all this was now clear and obvious - he had already had his heart fixed, so rejecting my friend inspite of her drop-dead gorgeous looks & amazing personality didnt sound so shocking. What shocked me though was, why in the first place did he come to meet my friend? The answer to that brings me to the main issue that I wanted to highlight in this post.
I think the answer in some small ways is connected to what came up in my previous posts too. The fact that our conservative society still considers love marraige a stigma, has a lot to do with the point I am driving to. The point being, often girls & boys who have already decided on their life-partner from amongst their colleagues, batchmates or acquaintances, find it difficult to confront their parents on their choice. To simplify the confrontation process what they do is ask the parents to find someone for them, whom they would pre-decidedly reject, and after having met a few they can easily blame that their choice isnt being met and hence they offer their pre-decided partner's proposal. The whole drama just adds legitimacy to the process of chosing a bride who was once your girlfriend.
This is exactly what happened in my friend's case, the guy already had someone in mind, and was using my friend as a tool to make his parents realise their incompetency in finding the apposite life-partner for him. I appreciate the fact that he had at least made up his mind on whom he wanted to marry, I also appreciate the methodology he adopted in making his parents approve his choice - which was not by imposing it on them, rather allowing them to grow upto the concept that they are not able to find the right match for him, and it is best for him to chose his partner himself. It often unjustifies the stigma factor associated with the journey of transforming love into marriage.
Now what I dont appreciate here is the fact that he had to make use of 'rejection' as a means of getting his point across. I still cant fathom how easy it was for him to make use of some third party to get a message across between himself & his parents. There are two contentions that I have in this whole situation. One is the fact that the guy made use of a third party. A party who is foreign and very liable to feel bad for being used i.e. if she realised that she has been used, which in my friend's case she did. I didnt like the fact that someone was dragged into this because you had politely convey a message to someone who is dear to you without hurting them. The second issue is very grave -'rejection'! How many times has a guy complained about having proposed a girl whom he has been secretly admiring for a long time & having being turned down after pouring his heart out...more often than not you will hear a guy in situations like this, and thank God it is guys who are in this situation more often!!...because women in general have bigger egos when it comes to being rejected by the opposite sex. And even if we look beyond how each gender takes the issue of 'rejection', one would agree that 'rejection' for any living creature is not the best of feelings to cope with. Whether it happens in the process of establishing a matrimonial alliance, or can be guessed from the sullen face of an orpahned kid vis-a-vis a chubby gay face of a doted only-child of parents, so much so a domesticated pet vs. a stray animal. Each of these are intense examples of rejected living creatures. Thankfully however, of these two contentions only one can happen at a time, because if you are feeling bad about being used by the guy, then you know you havent been rejected. Or else if you think you have been rejected, then you dont know that you have been used.
And while every person can have his/her own unique style of conveying harsh messages across to their near & dear ones, all I would request for the general betterment of the society is that dont make use of rejection routed through a third party to get your message across to your loved ones. Remember, what goes around, comes around, you could do this to someone today, and end up having this done to you some time later. Be careful, the most precious smiles are not only of those who are yours, someone who is not yours could look much more beautiful smiling than frowning!!

The coveted Engg+MBA combination

2008-04-28T17:52:00.003+05:30

At IITK, as a student of the department of industrial and management engineering, training to graduate with a degree of MBA, i had always noticed a certain scorn in the eyes of my professors towards the students of the MBA programme in the department. The reason was obvious, a highly pedantic institution like IIT Kanpur just didnt appreciate creating postgraduates in a field which spelled "jack of all trades, master of none", which is what MBAs are believed to be in the industry. They are suppose to know a little of everything, and all of nothing. Thats understandable from the plight that the industry sees in the form of the managers who manage subordinates of varied backgrounds with equal elan!!
Coming back to the professors' contempt of students whom they thought were adulterating the skill that they had before hand - 'their engineering degree'(considering that IITK MBA program was open only for engineers). Last weekend I met two of my department professors from IITK, who had come down to my office to deliver a lecture series on 'Quantitative finance'. I realised that not only these professors showed contempt towrads the adultorous MBAs, they had another genre of people whom they didnt consider worthy of respect. So if I may state the chronology of determination of worthlessness of an individual, it goes as follows:
1) If you are not an engineer - boss you are hopeless!!
2) If you are not an engineer and you are an MBA - you just dont have any hope in life!!
I think the contempt towards non-engineer MBAs from professors of hard core technical institutions is not so difficult to fathom...
all i was concerned with that atleast i had 50% hope in life because i was an engineer, and for the remaining 50% that I had lost because of doing an MBA...boss, now i cant do anything about it!!

Its in the air !!

2008-04-21T19:05:00.006+05:30

Today I happened to speak to someone from good old IIT days. This guy Yash, graduated from the bachelor's course in the same year as I did from MBA. After graduation he joined ITC, while I moved on in the banking domain. In IIT, we were introduced to each other by virtue of him having been the coordinator of the English Literary society before I was. I remember having interacted with him for a lot of reasons other than the ELS. One such was the protest on George Bush's visit to India, which I was almost dragged into because my beloved Prof. Rahul Varman had taken a lead on it. Anyone on campus knew that I could be lured into anything in which Prof. Varman was party. And I have strong reasons to believe that Prof. Varman knew that himself. Anyhow...that shall be a different piece of analysis...that requires more data and hence I shall refrain from doing....
Coming back to my telephonic conversation with Yash today. So far there have been several occassions when I resurrected contacts with some old pals from campus ( considering I have a habit of losing contact easily), but never did the experience feel so unique as it felt today. The primary reason for that was the industry in which Yash works - manufacturing!!
In today's world the manufacturing industry though has not lost importance but sure has lost mention. With the services sector booming, and India haing been labeled as the next big place for churning & exploiting human capital in an intellectual arena, the mention of the manufacturing industry seems to have thinned down. Not only that, with most of our generation(those with our kind of educational background) choosing the services sector over manufacturing (i guess the choice for most of us in our generation is pretty easy & obvious,looking at the abundant availability of jobs in this sphere) availability of people who could even give a fresh perspective on what the industry looks like & where it is heading towards is not ample. Looking at the dearth of such people, my conversation with Yash was rather refreshing.
Though the kind of problems that Yash mentioned existed with his job, were pretty much similar to what any youth of the services industry would also portray but the flavor & light in which he portrayed those experiences were unprecendented to my knowledge.
He mentioned about the level of excitement in his job during the inital days, when he was being trained & the process in which he was working was being established. He mentioned having reared the process right from having to buy the machinary, getting it installed, having it run, and then graduating into the mundanity of monitoring it. I dont think these sequence of activities are any different for anyone in the services sector. I myself have been in Bank of America since the inception of my process, and have seen the same steps happening in the flavor of 'services'.
He mentioned considering the option of doing an MBA in order to break the cycle of what he is currently doing. Very similar to what any engineer who has got into the cycle of software engineering would want to do. But the different flavor to his reasons for doing an MBA was the unavailability of ample jobs in the market, which is pretty understandable, considering that this sector is very mature in India, and place for today's youth who is constantly looking for a challenging role is scarce.
He mentioned about politics at work place, and I think the unanimity of that can be felt right from service to manufacturing to home as sectors. So nothing much to elaborate on that.

All in all, during the course of the conversation we came to a point wherein we said that though the problems that we both were talking about have similar underlying principles, another major problem that we have had is that after having spent time in IIT (me for 2 years & him for 4 years) our definition of intellectually challenging jobs had changed leaps & bounds. Which was also one reason why we were in the state of believing that our jobs have an element of mundanity. I confessed that my demand for intellectual challange had changed so much in the 2 years I spent at IIT & I wondered what it did to someone who spent 4 years there. To that Yash made a very unforgettable comment. He said " It wasnt about 2 or 4 years, It was all about the air we breathed. It was about the air of that place that made so much difference in the way we think & percieve challenges". I couldnt have agreed more!!
I told him that last week was MBA alumni meet at IITK, and I didnt go. One way I had convinced myself on not going was by asking myself whether I had achieved enough to go back & stand proudly in my alma mater. But the truth remains my alma mater doesnt ask me that, my alma mater is indiffferent to that, my alma mater is off the rat-race of assessing someone by their resume, their visiting card or their payslip...that is where I know that my alma-mater has more substance, and there is something about its air that makes it overlook so much in me and still consider me a part of it.
Even across sectors - manufacturing & services, there seemed to be unanimity on the fact that "There was something unusual in the air of IIT..."

Comments & Feedback

2008-04-14T14:58:00.003+05:30

A few days ago, I read a post that elicited the importance of comments left by readers on a blog. I personally think that comments left on one's blog, are indeed a source of encouragement for the writer. Infact feedback mechanism of any sorts, does provide the writer a zeal to write more and write better.
For the past month or so(eversince I have been blogging avidly), I have got feedbacks of several kinds. Some people who like to comment on a particular idea/philosophy, give feedback in the comments section of the blog. However, there are others who like to comment on an overall level, on my overall writing skills & the ideas that I express in general. Such people come upto me personally and comment on my work.
I must say the feedback so far is not only encouraging, its overwhelming as well. A couple of the feedbacks that I got in the recent times (that stand out in my memory) are as follows:
My friend from engineering recently told me that the stuff I write, is something that she and a lot of people in general( her assumption) can relate to. Of course when she said it, I accepted it gracefully, and I was indeed graced, considering that after several years of having lost touch with her, she decided to break the silence, pinged me and reported on my good writing skills. I was honored!! Now comes the reason why I am not too happy about that comment. When I look back at the comment made by her, I see an inherent contradiction in what I thought about my writing and what people think they are reading. I always believed that my ideas and philosophy are unique. I always thought, I think out of the box. But now it seems I dont!! I guess, thats the peril of having aggrandized a huge philosophy & a fixed mindset for years before deciding that u need to blurt it out, and you chose a blog to do that. Also I would say it is a limitation of a means like a blog, which creates more of a monologue, than actually an exchange of ideas. Or rather I should say that it is my blog which is more of a monologue (otherwise I have seen some other people write on their blogs & recieve hundreds of comments on every posting). In cases where comments on apost are abundant, the ideology expressed in the post, is liable to castigations, and inquisitions which eventually tell the author of the uniqueness, or the orignality of the idea and at the same time apprises him that what he/she is writing about is of concern to people. I would also like to point out here that my friend did mention that my writing style is very orignal, which i must say I accept with great pride, even on second thoughts!! Anyway, as long as the feedback flows in, whether through the comments section or through personally delivered remarks...I dont mind it!!
Another feedback that I recieved was: one of my friends really liked my one-liners. Though a lot of these one liners are not orignal, I think it was a feedback that I should be rather be proud of. In this fast moving, perpetual time-crunched lifestyle, if I express an idea or thought in just one line. What more can 'everyone in a rush' around me ask for...
All in all, I have recieved some handsome comments & feedbacks on my writing, which makes me feel proud of myself and my writing skills. For those who havent made their comments yet, mind you...good or bad...I am waiting!!

Thanks Gaddu!!

2008-04-14T11:26:00.004+05:30

"I love DD National!!", if my sms inbox reads a message like that, I know it can be no one other than Gaddu.
Rahul Gadahire, alias Gaddu was my batch mate in MBA at IITK. This guy is the most jovial yet wierdest person I have come across in my life. And what makes me conclude this about his character is his amazing habit of smsing the most out of the blue one-liners available on the face of the earth. Just the other day, he smsed me saying "main pak raha hun". Now the first reaction that anyone would have on recieveing such an sms from someone is to call up the person and cheer him up. Gaddu being a close friend of mine, I had enough reason to respond immediately. And guess what, when I called back all he could talk was in mono-syllables, and when I ran out of conversation, which was about 2 minutes after dialling in, the conversation boiled down to the mundanity of "aur bata". After a couple of aur batas, the choice was limited, so we hung up. This is typical of Gaddu, he usually is short of conversation, but mind you, he is an amazing listener. When he was in Mumbai (he shifted to Gurgaon a couple of months ago), any time i used to be frustrated and wanted to blurt out my frustration to someone, I knew he would just be a patient listener on the other side of the phone, or sometimes a mirror reflection away from me, on a breezy evening at Marine Drive. That guy has amazing capacity to listen, his silence shouldnot be mistaken for his dumbness, he does offer open-ended solutions/analyses of the problem at hand, once he listens to it all.
My camaraderie with Gaddu began during our placement season at IITK, when he was unplaced and needed someone to cheer him up. I am not too sure if I did ever cheer him up, but I did spend quite a lot of time with him then. Thereafter he got a job in Delhi & me in Mumbai. He, so very disliked Delhi that he just left the job in a couple of months & came to Mumbai to find a job(Mumbai is also his hometown). During the year (or little more) that he was here, we had great fun (all the wierd types). From walks on marine drive, to dinner at bade miyan- colaba, to running to catch local trains on a rainy monsoon evening at lower parel station (not to forget he was the one who first introduced me to the concept of using local trains in Mumbai, i must thank him for all the adeptness that i have developed in the same now).
But i guess, Delhi always had a soft-corner for him. So he is back there once again. But his wierd sms's just keep reminding me that he is there. The surprising part is the range of these sms's. From: "what is bounded rationality?" To: "tell me the name of some german movies to watch" and sometimes a PJ : "Dont read this sms, its very dirty...a white dog fell into a mud puddle...chhheee so dirty!!" I mean his sms's have this capacity to make u think for a moment, even though you may eventually ignore them in the long run.
Another aspect of this guy's personality is that he manages express his concern in a very wierd form. I still remember when Sandy had got engaged, he called me up very concerned saying, "tujhe pata hai sandy kisse shaadi kar rahi hai? u know whom sandy is marrying?". I replied unperturbed, "ya, she told me, he works in wipro..." and i went on with all that sandy had told me about her would-be's profile. He just cut me short and said "do u know what his name is?". Then i was perturbed, I thought, probably she is marrying some big-shot, who has a big claim-to-fame, but i perhaps missed out on that detail. So i inquired. He replied "His name is Pulasta!"...my reaction was "who is he?". To which he said "Sandy's would-be husband". I was irritated. But before I could express it, he replied, "I asked Sandy what this name means, and she said it was Ravana's grandfather's name" He went on"pata nahi yaar wo kisse shaadi kar rahi hai...mujhe to chinta ho rahi hai...I am worried!!" My first reaction was a chuckle, not at the description of Pulasta's name, but the anxiety it had induced in Gaddu. Of course my next reaction had to be some words of solace for Gaddu, " Dont worry yaar, she will be just fine!!"...He said dejectedly " I hope so...". She sure is fine even after 4 months of marraige, as per the update from her side, yesterday. So I know I didnt console Gaddu in vain.
Of course Gaddu never went to Sandy's wedding to validate if she really was going to be fine. He claims that by policy he doesnt go to any of his girl friend's wedding(meaning his female friends' weddings). He tells me that he maynot even turn up for my wedding, unless its exceptionally convenient for him. I have told him that I have already granted him forgiveness for not making it to my wedding, so there is not compulsion to be there. I appreciate people's policy & philosophy, as long as they are candid about it. And thats why Gaddu & my friendship has worked a long time. We are just too candid...we never shun from saying "yaar tu mujhe paka raha hai/rahi hai."
As I write all this, i am reminded of another incident in the recent times in which a very excited Gaddu called me up. His words were " Hello shubham, do u know what is serendipity?" I was quite taken aback, i mean anyone who knows me well enough would know that I bear a reasonably good vocabulary of the English lanaguage, then why test me!! then I thought maybe since he doesnt have a dictionary with him, thats why he is asking me this...anyway just as I began to explain he blurted " guess what, I was just strolling down my street in Dwarka singing some songs, and I passed by this couple. Just when we crossed each other, the couple turned around and yelled 'Gaddu'"...ofcourse i had to ask " who were they?"...he said very casually " they were Neha & Amit"( Neha & Amit were also our batchmates at IITK).....ohhhh...i thought to myself...now i knew what serendipity means...cool...see Gaddu is such an amazing tutor too!!
Gaddu was close to quite a few people in IITK, another of whom was Gaddi - that was the epithet given to her because of Gaddu & her closeness on campus, which used to raise the brows of our batchmates. I must say Gaddu took Gaddi's epithet in the most sporting spirit, though Gaddi did complain once in a while. Everyone on campus knew, that there was nothing romantic between Gaddu & Gaddi, but just that the jingle of Gaddu & Gaddi ( together) sounded so melodious, that they were targets of some bantering. That was the cute part of Gaddu's personality.
All said & done, this guy is adorable for his sheer love for DD National, his love for movies of all genres & languages, his tendency to get pako-ed, his capacity to crack poor jokes, his concern, his tutoring, his contraversial association with Gaddi and most importantly his capacity to listen. Thanks Gaddu, for always being ready to lend me your ears!!

Guy/Girl's plight??

2008-04-10T17:46:00.007+05:30

On request by anandable.......this post is with reference to the comment made by anandable on my previous post.

First & foremost, my previous post was in reference to another post by an author called Nishant. I limited myself to the situation posed by Nishant (though I did assume certain things here and there), now what anandable has asked me to think about is a diametrically opposite situation, some assumptions of which are as follows:

The girl is a small town, not so independant girl.
The guy is willing to marry the girl, and so are the guy's parents willing to accept her.
The girl's parents are not in favor of this marraige, on account of caste & status issues.

Before I begin to analyse the various variables that I have mentioned in my previous posts, I will talk about some inherent loopholes of these assumptions & also my limitations in understanding these assumptions.
I think the first & foremost loophole in the assumption is that while in the previous post both parties in love looked like matured & independant people, here atleast one party is not. Previously, we were talking about people who were capable of taking decisions by themselves, and also assess the merits & shortcomings of those decsions. In case of a non-independant girl such levels of maturity/independence cannot be expected, due to the sheer lack of exposure that dependency creates. Also in the previous posts both parties being the decision takers, the assumption was that they have a fair understanding of the fact that the accountability of the success or failure of the relationship lies on their shoulders. However in this case where the girl is not so independant, I am not too sure if she will be matured enought to shoulder the reponsibility/accountability of her relationship in the future. What i mean is that if god foresaken tomorow some mishap occurs in their relationship or in their lives, is the 'not so independant' girl, capable of handling it? The answer is perhaps no, and that is what brings me to the third assumption: the girl's parents' opposition to this proposal is not so unfair after all, except that the pretext that they are using to oppose it (i.e. caste & status) is probably not the best explainations of why they should be rejecting the alliance.

Another loophole of the assumption, and this time it is also a limitation of my understanding of small town girls. Arent small town girls the introvert kind of females, who rarely talk to guys, and probably are very well aware of their family & the social environments' condescending disapprovals of romantic reltionships?? Then how come they fall in love, I mean love can happen to anyone...thats fine!! but how does the mechanism of love unfold in such cases. I mean to ask, she atleast has to have talked to the guy a few times to really fall in love or after falling in love...or wait a min!!...are u talking about the love that she experiences by virtue of sight ...love at first sight!! If thats the kind of love u are talking about then believe me thats not love...its infactuation...or in my langauage 'stupidity'...and all i will recommend is...it is not even worth a fight!! So chup chaap se listen to what the parents say...

I know that it is a harsh suggestion for someone in love...but all i mean to say is that the assessment of whether something is worth a fight is very important...cupid may strike in several forms- love at first sight, crushes, friendship, sex...and many more....but the assessment of whether the form of cupid can be extrapolated to the sacred knot has to be a very prudent decision. And this process of extrapolation shouldnot be confusd with synonymising: love & marraige are not synonomous. They are two different things, if what you call 'love' materialises into marraige then you are damn lucky!!...but if it doesnt it is an important lesson of life, and you should 'by heart' it and move on in life!! However, I do believe that love is an integral subset of married life but that doesnt mean 'marraige = love' or vice versa.

Coming to the point of parents of the girl opposing the girl's marraige. In case of a non-independant girl, parents have to be very instrumental in chosing her partner, because the age in which a girl may have fallen in love could have been very impressionable, and love by its very nature makes someone very silo in their thinking. Owing to this, assessing the entire merit of the proposal keeping in view factors that will play an imporatnat role from time to time in life, becomes imperative for the parents. On judging these factors, some of which may revolve around the financial or social status of the guy's family, if the parents oppose the proposal...i dont think there is anything wrong with it.

Now, one would argue that I was harsh on the guy's parents opposing a proposal on the basis of the same factors, while I am supporting the girl's parents. I have logic to support that too, the reason being, once married the girl moves from her home to the guy's home. Assuming that the financial or social status of the guy's family is not equivalent to the girl's then there are chances that the girl may have to live in lack of resources which she was used to, to the extent of taking for granted in her own family. This may be the cause of discontentment for the girl, and she maynot be able to cope with the lack of resources. In such cases the girl's family may have to come to her rescue to make her life comfortable. From the perspective of both families this may not be a very desirable situation, the girl's family maynot want to own up the burden of their daughter's comfort after they have married her off, and even if they do, the maynot appreciate his wife's family helping out, because then it proves his inefficacy to give his family a comfortable living. Here the assumption is that the financial status of the guy's family is lower than the girl's family. However, in cases vice versa, it maynot be so difficult after all...its always easy for anyone to move from a lower starta of living into higher one, rather than do the vice versa. So what I am saying is, that parents rejecting a proposal on account of status is purely justified, however on the basis of caste....i dont know...i am not too sure...actually casteism is a very sensitive issue...and its an issue of mindset...though i myself believe that i should marry someone from my caste...when i ask myself 'why?', i dont having any rationale to support my belief...this is one terrain wherein i refrain from commenting...i dont know why...

Talking of the guy's parents, I think they are on the same page as their son, simply owing to the fact that they know their son is an independent entity with personal desires, and they respect it just as the girl's parents in the previous post must have. So they are willing to accept the girl, believing that their son has taken a matured decision, and that he has a fair understanding of the fact that the accountability of that decision rests in his own hands.

That brings me to the point of drawing an analogy of the proposed situation with the one in my pevious post. Just as the affected parties in the previous case were three, here too they are three. One is the girl, the girl's parents & the guy( i eliminate the guy's parents angle because their viewpoint is in sync with the son's)

Now lets look at the girl's perspective first:

I think she suffers from exactly the same problem which the guy suffered from in the previous post. She just lost track of the reality of her background & didnt think it was important to judge the guy's background, when she pursued her love.

Of course, she is a small town, not so independant girl so standing up and fighting for somethng she really wants is not something we can expect of her ( anyways, i am not even sure if she has a strong conviction on whether she really wants the guy, i mean on the basis of love on first sight no one can be absolutely convinced).

Also I would want to introduce another angle to the girl's perspective, which applies only to girls. Girls, who dont have an independant standing of their own, often equate their standing in society to their beauty, their physical appearance. And at any point in time, a patron of this beauty induces in the girl a feeling of self-worth. The feeling of self-worth is important for every individual, and for an unmarried non-independant girl this can be derived from the appreciation that a lover offers. This source of self-worth looks all important till the time the girl is not put through to think about marraige, once married she has her husband to derive this feeling from. So the incentive of a girl to fight her parents to get married to a lover, is lower than what it would be for a guy.

Now from the girls' parents perspective:

Of course peer pressure is important here too, with the girl's peer group getting married to NRIs and IASs which other girls' parents have chosen for them, this girls' parents dont want to be left behind in the race by hitching their daughter with someone whose primary vocation seems to be falling in love (thats what it looks like to the parents atleast!!).

Thier ego ofcourse takes a hit, they dont want to confess that they werent keeping a close eye on the movements & heart slips of their daughter, that would raise a finger on their upbringing scheme.

Parent's insecurity in this case comes from whatI mentioned earlier, the fact that they would have to marry the girl off in a family which maynot have as much resources or social recognition as theirs.

From the guy's perspective, I guess its the same as was in the girl's case in the previous post. I mean he just has to cope up with the feeling of despair & loss...i guess thats how life is ... unfair, but simply 'life'......

Iin the conventional love stories like this one its the guy who takes the brunt...and in modern ones like the ones i mentioned previously its the girl...

Though I think I have done a better job of explaining the perspective of the not so independant girl than I had thought...in case of any aberrations, do grant me the limitation of not knowing what small town girls are all about or rather not knowing how it could feel like being a non-independant girl. The smallest towns which I have experienced in my life have been Ludhiana, Kanpur & Patna ( and I am sure they dont even qualify as towns...all three were cities, I believe), so my perspective on small town girls is a little silo-ed. Though i did have interaction with a few small town girls in my engg days, but they were all far too soaked in inferiority complex, that most of their claims of love & boyfriends looked like desperate attempts to be on par with the metro-girls than actually an explaination of their true personality.

I hope i came close to looking at the problem with the perspecive that anandable expected, in case not...comments & castigations are most welcome....

Girls' Plight

2008-04-08T22:55:00.007+05:30

http://read-nishant.blogspot.com/2008/02/guys-plight.html

The author of the above article i thought has raised a very critical issue, which is constantly biting our hypocrytic, yet developing society.

I would like to scrutinize the issue that he has mentioned a little further.

In the above said situation the affected/involved parties are three in number; and it is very important to understand the psychology & repercussions of the situation on each of the three.

First is the guy, whom the above author has very conclusively adjudged as the one suffering the plight. Though I honestly believe that the other two parties are the ones that are more touched by the situation: the girl(Payal in this case) & the parents of the guy.

Looking at the guy's situation first & foremost:

Love vs. Reality: This guys seems to be someone who has probably missed out on the reality of a 'conservative family background', when he fell in love with Payal & began to go around with her. Well if conservatism is not something that can fully explain this (considering that is developing India), then i have another terminology that can be more explicable of what the guy failed to assess and i.e. his 'egoistic parents' ( I will elaborate on this when I come to the parents' part of this analysis). So point number one is that guys who end up in situations like this one, probably lose track of their reality or maybe misjudge it. One typical problem that I have noticed about guys in relationships is that they often lack foresight, they are never able to foresee what they are getting into or where they shall be heading towards in the medium-term or may be long-term( like in this case). When they fall in love, they are soaked solely in love, not realising that apart from loving their sweetheart they need to multitask and assess that they may never be able to fructify the situation into anything meaningful altogether. This problem is very rampant with the male gender, and with the live for moment attitude of the newer generation this attitude is quite often seen with the fairer sex too. But only if the newer generation turns heed to the old virtues of planning & preparing can situations of the like be avoided.

Strength of love vs. Weakness of the individual: Guys in our modern society are facing a decline in the rate of growth of their strength. While on the other hand, girls are showing a rapid growth rate in terms of developing strength. You know what I mean, I mean that though women in today's time arent as strong in upholding their views as men are, they are showing a rapid increase in the growth rate of ability to stand up for things. And inspite of the head start that our patriarchical society has given men on expressing & upholding their views, women are catching up soon. Also attributed to this rapid growth rate in strength development of women, the mood in the female sect is upbeat, while for men the declining growth rate suggests a mood of recession owing to which a guys are often not able to gather the courage to fight out for things they strongly believe they want. So even though the guy has the heart to fall in love, he may lack the heart to fight out for it. Or so to say, when it is you sweetheart on one hand and your beloved parents on the other. Its always easy to say 'sorry' to the sweetheart & break her heart, than rebel against parents & hurt them for a life time. The results of situations like this often go to prove that adage, 'blood is thicker than water'. And it takes lot of strength & attitude to fight what old adages suggest with reference to societal norms. And of course, a community(the male gender sect) which is weakening day by day & is going through the low of the recession, expecting an exhibition of strength of the order of rebelling against parents would be like asking for too much.

As a result of his misjudgement of getting into a relationship which could never fructify, & his inability to gather the strength to fight it out, he may never be able to fulfill his desire to marry the woman he desires to.

Now coming to the parents of the guy:

Peer pressure: We in India often talk about the ever increasing population & the competition it induces amonst individuals in the society. This competition takes various facets, from creating a healthy competition to a mere rat-race; what is interesting to see here is that while we talk about our generation bearing the brunt of this competition; our previous generation doesnt remain untouched. Parenthood as an arena of competition is as much an arena as is any JEE or CAT. While a lot of parents transalate their children's success in these arena to success of their parenthood, the highlight that emerges is that Indian Parents in todays times are under immense pressure to prove to their peers how sincerely & intently they have reared their kids. In the process of trying to be the best amongst peer group, parents dont hesitate from dictating their children into chosing a line of career, or an institution of education, or the eventual job & sometimes altogether the path of career. With female children getting equal encouragement from their backgrounds, the competition in parents' peer group has rocketed several folds. As a result of all this, many parents just dont want to risk their child's fture by putting it in his/her own hands. Also the child following parents' directions in terms of what he does in life makes the parents look good in society- it just proves that the child has good sanskaram to follow his/her parents' will. The risk involved with children taking their own decision combined with the unsankared syndrome motivates parents to reject what the child proposes he desires to do.

Parental Ego: To all this, I would also like to add the angle of what i call the 'egoistic parent'. In the case mentioned by the author above, had the guy's mother accepted the guy's idea of marrying Payal, what is the answer that she would have given Mrs. Tiwari who offered the proposal of a gem-like girl. Ofcourse she would have to tell her that her son has chosen someone on his own. Now to do that a lot of parents would have to take a hit on their ego. confessing that your son is taking his own decision means that you arent playing enough role in your son's life. Which eventually transalates into the credit of his successes also going solely to him. No matter how much of a 'developing nation' we may be, our society hasnt attained the maturity to accept that the child's success can be attributed solely to him/her!!

Insecurity: I dont know about both parents, but mothers in general like to have control of their son. Infact not only mothers, women in general like t have control of men in their life. And easiest prey to such a control is your own son. Losing control on your son is very hard to cope up for a woman. This is also another reason why a mother may never permit her son to choose a girl of his choice; because popular beliefs suggest that a girl of the guy's choice usually gets an upperhand in his priority of attention scheme. Now thats quite a popular belief of our society, and believe me these popular beliefs though extremely baseless, are so subtly ingrained in us(and especially mothers) that any deviation from them is like inviting too much risk, which mothers are just not willing to take.

As a result of the peer pressure in parents' arena, parents' ego & the mothers' insecurities; the parents blackmail the son into chosing between the desired sweetheart & themselves. The choice is obvious, because after all 'blood is thicker than water'. And it takes a lot to shake the societal foundations of this normative adage.

Now coming to Payal & the real plight: ( now I am going to make some huge assumptions, because very little info on Payal has been provided by the author in the excerpt)

Payal kind of girls of course belong to very progressive families. Families that encourage their daughters to study, encourage them to stand at par with the society, and empower them to take both big & small decisions in their life ( I am assuming all that because Payal has reached the level of working in the same office as the guy himself). For a girl like Payal, it is not very hard to fructify her desire of marrying the guys she wants to, primarily because just as the family has given her the liberty to chose her career & pursue it, they would do the same for her life-partner.

Now, look at the irony of the situation, the one who has the liberty to take decisons liberally, is afterall the puppet of the situation. I mean, what can she do, she is helpless, she fell in love with someone she thought loved her (which is not a bad assumption to make given that the guy after all thought of taking the proposal to his parents). So she was right there & then she lands into an awkward situation wherein she is being dictated by the guys misjudgement & weakness, the parents' ego & insecurity. If it were her own parents, she could have probably explained to them. But she cant explain, argue or fight with someone else's parents. Parents who arent hers & probably wont even consider any explainations from her because she is both a aforeign party & the party with the highest stake( hence likely to have a biased viewpoint to what is more a game of egos & weaknesses than LOVE).
The result is a situation of helplessness & despair, a feeling of 'how terribly wrong a decision did I take in the first place?"( when I got involved with this guy).

So while the author of the above post talks about the guy's plight, I think the real sufferer is the girl in this situation. And though we live in a developing society, these are some perils of living in an age which talks more of flux than development. I think our generation will have to bear the brunt of it...and hopefully our coming generations will reap the fruits of our hard times.

I know I have made several assumptions in the above article...the data that was available in the author's post was very little to build on the kind of conclusions that I have...my apologies to the author incase the conclusions I have drawn are not in sync with the point he was trying to make...but i have added a little more to the situation in order to understand the dynamics of such situations and the plausible causes & motivations of such situations in this developing society of ours.
I know a lot of things that I have spoken about are extremely contraversial, and maynot even apply to the society as a whole, but my judgement is based on a small sample of a segment which has seen itself in situations like the one mentioned by the author.

'Race' treachery ki....

2008-04-05T23:52:00.004+05:30

If a student of English language attempting to improve his vocablury, wanted to understand the meaning of the word 'treachery', he/she needn't resolve to the rapidex english speaking course...i have a more entertaining option for him/her...watch the movie 'Race' and u would know what the word exactly means. All possible variations of the meaning of the word are well depicted, and when u come out of the theatre whether or not you know what 'race' means u surely would have an excellent understanding of the word 'treachery'. However, the constraint is, to learn just one word of the English lanaguage it isnt really a good idea to watch a 2 hr 45 min long movie. So my recommendation is that only advanced level students of the language should resort to the modus operandi that i am suggesting...for the rest of you, the one line feedback of the movie from my end is that "the meaning of the word 'race' does take a backseat in the characters' attempt to cheat each other".
The movie is sure not a flop, owing to the sheer excitement that so much of treason builds up. But the complexity that it eventually conjures only leaves one thanking God that inspite of the rampant availability of cheats, there are atleast some people in life whom u can trust. Not that I myself believe that everybody whom u meet in life is a cheat, but the rampant cheating in the movie did leave me thinking that if life is to any degree in sync with what has been shown, boy...then we surely live in "the big bad world".
Also the movie has left me a little concerned about an industry which for times immemorial has been not significantly but surely indispensibly associated with lives of people world over. And that is the 'button' manufacturing industry. I must say the dress designers have made good use of buttons in clothings of all kinds in the movie; what disturbs me however is that they were all left unbuttoned. Now that could have two reasons, one is that the unbuttoned buttons are EITHER symptoms of a fashion that may soon lead to the extinction of the all-essential button altogether OR while the dress designers did a contract with the button-manufacturers, they laid-off the the tailor who was suppose to create the slots for the buttons. Either ways, the use of buttons for 'show', both in women & men's ensemble does tell me that while the people working in the button manufacturing industry could be at the risk of losing their jobs in the future, those working as slot creators( that genre of tailors) are already feeling the heat of recession (i.e. if there is one in the economy). All in all, Saif Ali Khan's unbuttoned shirt was a cool sight i thought, and i am sure the ladies' unbuttoned whatever ...was a cool sight for the opposite sex.
Talking of the movie as a whole, it was nice entertainment; while every person is entitled for their opinion on how good or bad it was...i would just say that the songs & the choreography of the same was out n out paisa vasool. Infact in order to make full use of my theatre ticket i made sure i sat through the song after the movie got over, and that in itself i thought justified why i paid the Rs. 130 in the first place.
All in all, watching beautiful people (all the characters in the movie looked great) whether in reel life or real life, is always good entertainment. And if you get a primer on English language vocabulary along with entertainment...who would mind it!!

airs about AIR

2008-04-03T22:33:00.006+05:30

<http://helloji.wordpress.com/2008/03/05/iit-insufferable-indian-tribe/>
please read the above article before proceeding to read my post....

This post has invited a lot of clamor in recent times. I had fun reading it & I had even more fun reading the comments( which are now 250+). All that has been said & argued upon has had immense entertainment value, and for those of you who didnt have the time to read all comments, you can atleast read the 26th one. Its my personal favorite!!

This post is in reference to the above post, and is directed to the author of the post that has created a clamor. To my readers, I would just like to mention that I donot intend to give cheap publicity to IITians. What I shall be writing is a personal opinion based on first-hand experience that I have had with this tribe which to some in good/bad( i am not too sure!!) humor appears to be insufferable.

Even before I begin this post I would like to tell u that I am not an IITian( here I go...so even non-iitians can begin their introduction in the unique style that u mentioned was attributed only to IITians). To elaborate a little more on that, let me tell u, i am not an IITian by virtue of never having cleared the JEE. I mean, I lived in IIT for two years( by virtue of being a post-graduate student therein), however, I would be over-rating myself if I were to call myself an IITian. The AIR that you very condescendingly mentioned in your post, has a lot to do with why IITians have so much airs about themselves (now I know that the AIR is indeed a pun...and rightly so!!). And since I didnt have an AIR, i refrain from having the air to call myself an IITian.

Now you would be wondering why someone who didnt even have an AIR is trying to defend members of this insufferable tribe ;) (just trying to imitate your language & talk in the same tone, but afsos thats just for show, I dont think the tribe deserves such a derogratory epithet... anyway....) . Reason for my coming to their defense is that even I was a JEE aspirant at one point of time, and my maiden attempt at it told me how difficult it is to get an AIR. I respect those who make it through, and appreicate those who atleast think they can make it there & i dont mind if they take a year or two off to do so. I never took any off, reason being simple, I never thought I had the substance, the intellect to make it there! And that is enough to judge how a true IITian is not only different from anyone else in terms of his intellectual ability but also his ability to believe that he is intellectually different. And to accentuate the point that I lacked the intellectual capability to make it there, even when I did get to an IIT, my JMET rank was worse than most campus residents' JEE ranks!!

To elaborate a little more on the AIR point: In my course of two years at IIT, I met several people who had beheld this pun-like feature (the AIR), and believe me each of them had more to them than just what it took to get that AIR. And when I say "more to them", I mean they had so much substance that you begin to question what exactly was the curriculum for JEE, that brought them in. To me IIT was an experience of meeting people whose substance could be attributed to a range of things, from their sheer simplicity of background to the way they conducted themselves. To illustrate this point I will mention a guy who if ever passed by a gorgeous girl would fail to get a second look, but if he displayed his public speaking to her, she would have no choice but drool over him. I know many would argue that such seemless public speakers are plenty in number, even outside IIT, then whats so special about him?...well, all I would say is to manage the diverse reaction from not getting a second look to having a girl drool over you...well thats something!! I met guys who came from backgrounds wherein they studied in lanterns (only the light of a lantern and not even a fan to respite the scorching heat) for the JEE; and if their deprivation of having not had ample air at the time of their preparation, reflects in the airs they have about their AIR... boy, its more deserved than anything!! The guy with the most dehaati Hindi having the most fluent English speaking girl of the campus as his girlfriend...boy, that happened at IIT!!

Ok, so that brings me to the sensitive issue of IITians stuttering and stammering in front of girls...to that I would say, your allegation is fair to some extent, but then again its baseless. Because had you been aware of the skewed ratios at IIT( they say it is as low as 1:20, and to top it all, even the fauna in my IIT consisted of more peacocks than peahens ;)), and the effects that it can have on guys in such an environment you wouldn't have made that comment. Vaise looking at your levels of inferiority complex, had you lived in that kind of an environment, you would begin to stammer & stutter even in front of a bitch (and there I mean...the female dog, the bitch!!). Once again, my hats-off to IITians, they can atleast fluently tell the bitches "I am an IITian!!"

As can be made out from the post, you sure are someone who never went to IIT, and dont even have the slightest inkling of what life in IIT is all about. I am glad that inspite of not being an IITian I will refrain from the juvenile felony that you have committed(to write a post which has very little backing in terms of facts or experiences both first-hand or vicarious). If you would have atleast been through that lifestyle, even as a non-IITian( as did I), you wouldn't have dared to write this. And I think largely the reason why you committed this crime and I didnt is...because I watched star wars at IIT...and I bet you didnt!!... ;) :)))

I think you were on the right track when you said that the real estate prices for an area which produces an IITian goes up. I am not too sure about the real estate prices but sure that non-IITians like me who live around IITians for two years can see their value go up in terms of taking the liberty to admonish the felony of ignorants like you!!

-thanks for giving me this opportunity!!
a non-IITian

Constraints of Independence

2008-04-01T23:30:00.002+05:30

in·de·pend·ence –noun
1.Also, independency. the state or quality of being independent.
2.freedom from the control, influence, support, aid, or the like, of others.
3.Archaic. a competency.
When i look back at my life, I see that this word has had a lot to do with how I have lead my life(especially in the last 8 years). My childhood was spent in a cosmopolitan culture, owing to which I thought my measure of exposure& hence independence was relatively more than would have been of any small-town child. Though Delhi had a lot to do with shaping up my idea & need for freedom, my parents did their bit by making me realise the need & importance of being on my own ( independent as i may coin it). Once I moved to engineering college, my father who had forcibly stuck to job opportunities in and around NCR( because my sis & I were in school till then), began to explore opportunities out of town, and in no time of me having assumed life in college, did my parents move out of Delhi. The cessation of my parents' chaperoning the and the beginning of life in hostel gave me a greater chance to explore life on my own.
Though I talk about having grown independent in the past 8 years, I do beleive that it is much more deep-seated, and though the journey towards being independet can be prominently traced back from the times my parents left me on my own in Delhi, I am sure the seeds for the same were sown by my parents long ago when they were bringing me up.
While I dont want to take away any credit from my parents on the way they brought me up, I think it wont be fair if I dont mention the other side of the classical debate of nurture vs. nature. Yes, all I mean is that by nature I am someone who likes to be independent, to be on my own, to make my own decisons, and take responsibilites of both success and failure. I remember having made some of my biggest decisions in life all on my own. My decision to do an MBA immediately after engg was just one of them. And I thank my parents that they never questioned or imposed their opinion on me. I still remember when I was filling up forms for MBA entrances, I had decided to appear only for three exams, and that too no addendum applications to them. I had kept my options extremely niche, I knew if I dont make it to one of the three I dont have to do an MBA in that year. As a result of my decision I sometimes do feel that I should have done an MBA after acquiring some work-exp, but then the amazing experience of IITK just justifies the loss (if at all) I may have incurred by doing a back to back degree. At the end of the day, the blame is mine, the praise is mine...and I am glad both are mine!!
One of my friends once said: 'I want my wife to be as independant as you, shubham'. I remember having chuckled at that!! Reason being, independence is not a potion that you grind and push down someone's thoat, its a state of mind, its your attitude, and to top it all its a result of years of nurturing; also it takes the kind of toil (which I did voluntarily), that I once undertook in life.
While I have intelligently and responsibly exercised freedom in every aspect of life, both as a student & now as a working professional, there was one aspect which was always a source of both concern and pride in my life, that was my financial independence. As a spendthrift, independence of this sort was not only an achievement for me but also a necessity. Since life in Delhi could get really expensive when it came to enjoying, I made sure whatever I spend on my enjoyment/luxury should be my own hard-earned and not my parents' sweat-n-toil. That way I knew I would realise the real cost of every bit of enjoyment. And mind you, its not that my parents didnt have the resources, they posibly had more than was required to support two children. But their money was hard-earned, and in order to develop the respect for the same, I decided that any splurge that I did would be with my own money.
Here I would like to define two things which already people must be controversially guessing. One being, what was this 'splurge' that I wanted to do. Mind u, my definition of splurge was very simplistic, far from what a notorious mind can think. It meant buying a pair of branded footwear every weekend ( i love footwears, i own more than someone can possibly tolerate) & a luxurious spa at a nice up-scale salon, in those days (and still) VLCC. I mean this is luxury, and for those of you who are looking at this with the looks " Weirdo, do u even know what luxury/splurge means??', well in my definition it meant what i just mentioned. And thanks to this definition, in my hostel I used to be famous for having the maximum number of footwears(though I was famous also for an ever-bursting wardrobe of clothes, but my liking for clothes never till date have matched my fetish for shoes) and often girls borrowed a pair to match with their dress for the odd date that they went on. Also talking about the pampering VLCC spa...... boy!! nothing matches that feeling, and even till date there are a lot of working women professional who maynot have the heart/money for a splurge like that. The pride with which i mention these things here is not because these were upscale & fashionable things to do ( in fact there were far more fashionable things, like going to discotheques, which believe me i have done on count of fingers, and that too the counting finishes just as it begin i.e. my whole life experience at a discotheque has been once, though i was an avid dancer at JAM sessions in college fests!!).
The second contraversy that I think I should be clarifying here is, what was the 'source of money' for all the splurge that I did. Well, doesnt sound extraordinary but it will as and when I go into the mintue details of the experience. I used to teach 10th standard maths tuitions to a student in kashmere gate (very close to my college). I have always loved Maths as a subject. But the irony that I was caught in in my chosen vocation was that if I had taught that student for long enough I would have begun to hate the subject. That guy was 'dumbness' personified!! My hostel wingmates had given him the epithet of 'dumb-head', and nothing could have more appositely & simply described what he actually was. My dissemination of any mathematical knowledge to him made me feel guilty of my liking & knowledge for the subject.
To elicit more on his potential, let me tell you that his claim to fame was that he had already flunked 9th standard, so my task was to help him clear the 9th standard compartment exams(which I successfully did - and for that u really need to pat me on my back) & then prepare him for the 10th standrd board exams(wwhich...ok, never mind!!). After paying me Rs. 250 per hour for several months, all he could manage was a 8 on 100 in the final board exam. Can u imagine 8 on 100!! oh my GOD!! which soil did GOD use to carve his brain or rather I should say what was the quality of fodder filled into his brain... While the whole experience of making money from teaching tuitions was exciting & richening, the end result was putting off enough. When I heard that he flunked with 8 on 100, I felt like nick-naming myself 'dumb-head' for the fact that I accepted him as a pupil, and ofcourse for not even having had him get 33 on 100. Was 33, so much of a task?? I guess not, but yes I am sure it wasnt as easy as 8, which you can easily get for the sheer cleanliness & neatness of blank white paper on your answer script (if I were the examiner I would awarded 8 marks by looking at 8 blank sheets...which is what I am sure the board examiner did too!!). And as if this shock wasnt enough for me, his mother had wanted me to teach him for his compartment exams too...oh my GOD, I said, I couldnt have borne the trauma of putting him through trauma for another 3 months. So I quit that job, though I would love to take up teaching Mathematics as a vocation (I shall use my past experince as a caveat in selecting my pupil). Though the source of income stopped, I had other things to keep the money flowing in, I did oriflame network marketing for some time, only to realise that marketing was a tough task ( kudos to my DAD who has done it for nearly 30 years now, pitty i wasnt cloned with his gene in this aspect...I really appreciate these marketers).
Of course, all this stopped once I went to Kanpur, but believe me in Kanpur I had many more enriching experiences so the need of for richening diminished. I was a restraint spender in the 1st year. But in the 2nd year, after my Bangalore stay for my internship, there was just no looking back. I was spending in the 2nd year as amuch as I was spending in the internship days. Those were the days that hit my Dad's pocket the most...anyway that's history now...and here are the days when I am earning & the days when I am suppose to be earning.
Reiterating the financial independence part, I exhibit utmost pride in flaunting my financial independence. I am never perturbed to pay the bill of sitting out at a coffee shop with a friend, because it just gives me a kick, a reminder "Shubham, you are fiancially independant". And though I dont want to publically promote this, lest all coffee-cravers would soon be inviting me to cafe coffee day all the time; the point that I am trying to put across is that financial independence to me has been not only the achievement of my life, but has grown into an inherent need of my composition in terms of my self-esteem & ego.
Where I am coming from is that if suppose I get married to a guy who is filthy rich & hence asks me not to work, my sheer problem is where will I get the money to justify & splurge limitlessly. I mean, though he could have a big bank balance & I would be the beholder of several add-on credit cards, but then thats not my money & for the money that doesnt belong to me, I dont think I have the liberty (all by myself) to decide what all I can spend on. What i might do in a situation mentioned to me, is still not conclusive, simply because it is hypothetical & hence a lot of parameters stand missing.
So I just leave this as an issue to be pondered on...if ever required. And the clue to reaching a conclusion on this issue lies in what Professor Rahul Varman once said(I am sure it wasnt his orignal, but it was him that I had first heard this from). He said:
Freedom lies in realising that constraints exist.
My pride in my independence & the irony it bestows on me suggests that while I bask in the glory of my paycheck & bank-balance, I have to realise that this freedom is costing me my ability to accept someone else pay for my needs. While it does disturb me, I am optimistic that togetherness may change/tweak a lot of ideals & principles of my life. And i am sure they will be for the better!! I have heard that relationships make one very accomodative, and hopefully they not only make people accomodative in the intangibles/ tacit behaviors of a partner but also in the material attributes that are showered on you as a result of him/her. My guesses are that dependence is an integral component of building closeness in the kind of relationship that I am aspiring to get into. And the crux to getting into a relationship & maintaining it successfully shall lie in my understanding that: independence cannot be completely/wholly determined by financial independence. And somewhere I know that devoid of the financial independence, I still shall be 'independent', because it is second nature to ME.

Marraige, Money Matters

2008-03-28T17:55:00.007+05:30

With marraige issues lurking all over the place, discussions though not very pleasing on the subject are often indispensible. I dont think I am complaining about it as such, because more often than not a discussion on this dreaded issue ( I wonder if the issue in discussion is so dreaded, how it would be in experience...but anyway...dont have the time to think about that) brings to the table an important aspect of the dynamics of marraige, and forces me to think about it. The result is a clearer picture of what i want from marraige...and whether my expectations & desires are in sync.
Someone asked me yesterday, whether the guy earning less than me could be an issue in the relationship. I cant comment about the relationship part here, because that depends on two persons' mutual consent, but my personal view in this may have a big role to play in what the mutual consent may finally be. Of course, my first complaint about this question is that it is a very hypothetically designed one, because it enumerates no other features of the guy who earns less than me. I mean, its not that he is going to be my husband only for the pay-day in the month. I mean I still have to live the other 29 days with him. Though this day is an important one (atleast in my current life i am perpetually waiting for it, whether it is the day prior to pa-day or the day past pay-day, i mean for next paycheck of course!!).
Firstly, I was forced to think of the origin of this idea. I mean, why is it that a guy has to be earning more than the girl in a marraige..I think the reasoning to this is pretty deep-seated, coming from several aspects of life, be it social, biological, tempramental, and many others that I probably havent delved into.
Socially of course, our society is in a state of flux and so while the conventional set-up expected only the man to earn, the new developments are a compromised version of the old ones. So the sweet compromise suggests that if the man cannot be the only one earning then atleast he should be the one earning more. Fair enough!!
Now thinking of this biologically...as a woman I see the man as a bigger entity than me, I mean in the physical sense he is gotta be taller, he has to have bigger arms ( that can fit me well & give me the comfort & sense of security), so when we imagine him physically bigger than us, we simply extrapolate the bigness to his pay-packet also...that is a shady bit of analysis...but nevertheless, everything is open to moot, and to tell u a lot of things are so subtly ingrained in us that sometimes we dont like any logics (like this one) explaining it...
Tempramentally, I think a lot has been said by the wise men/women, it has a lot to do with the male ego not being able to accept that his wife is contributing more to the household's financial statement. ( I mean on the income side, of course all women contribute more to the expense side ;))
Having analysed the origin of this, in my plausible capacity, I go back to the hypothesis. Of course, I need more data, as in what is the guy's background, what is his qualification, what he is upto in life. So while, I ask so many questions, I was supplied with a live guy to use as a guinea pig for the sake of understanding this issue. I wont go into the details of this guinea pig, but I will sure tell you what my conclusion was when I thought about him & his earning less than me.
I found that in a vibrant economy & job-market that we see in the current day scenario, one's job & salary is a very volatile measure of the person. Thus, it becomes very important to go back to the person's educational qualification to judge his real worth. Thats where I nailed my conclusion, I said to myself, what they say about cricketers:
Form is temporary, class is permanent!!
A boy's current job, his current salary is only his form. The class that he exhibits has a lot to do with what made him get the job & why he is with a certain pay-packet. What a guy is making on the pay-day is a display of his form; what he once studied at school will all along life exhibit as his class.
While a lot of people may not agree, many may even be offended, I knew my audience last evening knew what I exactly meant. He being from IITK just knows how valuable his base qualification is, immaterial of the job that he is in. And this coming from someone who had spent a couple of years at IITK herself, only added to the veracity of his & my confidence in our education.

Keeping busy could take several forms..

2008-03-26T16:08:00.002+05:30

I had a very long day yesterday. Entered office little after noon, and left at 6 am today. the interesting thing about the day was the variety of things that kept me busy:

Firstly, I had some work. Now thats really unusual, having work in office, that too work worth mentioning on my blog is just something out of the box. Well, I had to build the interpretation & presentation of the an analysis that our team has been doing for a couple of months. We had hoped that the project would have got wrapped up yesterday, but looks like its gonna haunt us for as long as we are around in Bank of America - which I hope is not very long. With offers being rolled out to me thick n fast , doesnt look like converting this hope into reality is much too difficult, but if only I can settle things on my personal front can I think of settling into something new on the professional. Looks like I am running a dasa wherein everything seems to be stuck. Happens sometimes, and the upside of such situations is that it teaches u the virtue called 'Patience'. I sure needed a primer on that!!

Secondly, I denied credit to someone. Well I had my genuine reasons for that & though saying 'No' is something I just hate doing to someone, I guess practice has made me perfect. With having said 'No' to a couple of consultants after job offers were rolled out. And with now saying 'No' to my colleague for credit, I think I am only getting better with the art of saying 'No'. And just as I write this I said 'No' to an ICICI bank health card insurance tele-caller. Oh my God!! with me saying 'No' so often nowadays I am beginning to wonder if very soon I would begin introducing myself as Shubham No, instead of Shubham Nath. Good Lord, save me!!

Thirdly, I procastinated the decision of alliance with a guy, who has quite shown interest in me over the past few weeks. Now that was a real difficult one, it was almost like the art of saying 'No' which I have been practising, but it had to be done very tactfully. There seems to be the involvement of some emotions in this one, so I just wanted to make sure that the 'No' always sounds like a'no' and not a 'NO'. It was tough, and though I know, in the heart of hearts it is 'NO', I really wonder whether I will be able to make him feel the 'NO' politely or without hurting him. It really bothers me , this 'No' business. But I guess thats life, and thats how languages were created with antonyms. Hopefully I will be able to use the antonym to my recently acquired habit very soon. It never feels nice to get & remain in the habit of negative words.

Fourthly, caught up with Mayank after a month. He returned to the city on Monday after having got married in his hometown- Kanpur on the 1st of this month. It was really nice conversing with him. Especially him being from IITK ( though he was a 2001 batch btech) allows me to take the liberty of connecting with him, in many several ways. Also with him having worked on the same team as I do, we always have a common topic to talk about. We had wanted to catch up for dinner/coffee late last evening but didnt work out. Anyway we ended up talking on phone for more than an hour, till we were interuppted by his newly wed wife's( she is still in Kanpur) phone call. Will meet up with him some time during this week. I have to do some interrogation on Ayon;), though I know he is a hard nut to crack. Infact I fear being interrogated back...anyway, we'll see!!

Next, was Sweta di, she called me up after nearly 15 days. Sweta di was my wingmate in IITK, & also my accomplice in the several mischiefs that we did in IITK as a wing. She was a Ph.d student then & now a prof in HR in IIM Kozhikode. She called to tell me that she is leaving for Sweden next week, where she is going to stay a couple of months on an exchange program. After returning she is gonna resign from IIM Kozhikode, and join Fore School of management in Delhi. Now, any sane person on earth would ask me, why on earth is she doing that?...the answer is she is married, and married to a guy who lives in Delhi, and the guy is not willing to relocate anywhere in the world without his parents. And his parents are not ready to live anywhere in the world except in Delhi. So poor Sweta di, after having stayed away from husband for a couple of years already, she has had to decide to be a dutiful bahu & a dutiful wife. God bless her, & God bless me too, I just hope I never have to make such hard choices in life between family & job. People like Sweta di & situations like the one in which she has been for the past couple of years only go to prove how hard it is to be the modern Indian woman!!

After all the chit-chatting which my atmakaraka chatty Mercury had put me through, I sat at my office desk to listen to Visti Larsen's astrology lecture series. Just when I was brushing some concepts by looking at some sample charts, Gaurav Singh of CDP(corporate debt products) team caught view of the chart on my monitor. He was quite surprised that a modern, smart girl( i guess thats what he thinks about me) like me indulges in the so viewed dhakyanusi science of astrology. Anyway, he came upto my desk and started elaborating on some astrologers he has known in his hometown- Banaras, he mentioned about some accurate predictions that they had made. He even claimed that he was a palmist himself, and then as the conversation materialised, he read my palm too. He mentioned a few things about my temprament, quite correctly; a few things about my past, quite bang on target; but he didnt say much about my future. He said by principle he doesnt tell people about future. Now wasnt that the whole purpose of astrology/palmistry??...i mean if not the whole, atleast part of it, sure is!!...Anyway we discussed a lot of things from all around the globe, till it was very late in the night & nearly the entire office had emptied. He decided to take leave,I dont blame him, he doesnt live at stone's throw from office, like me. So I let him go, but i didnt leave!!...I lingered around in the silence of an empty office, and when I had thought I had spent enough time with myself, I turned to write some memories from IIT days.

At 6 am I took the office cab back home, actually on second thoughts I should have waited another half an hour & walked back home in the dim dawn light. Maybe some other day...I dont know if I will be able to do it again. In IIT I did it almost everyday ( in summers specially). At 5.30 am I used to go for a swim at the instt. swimming pool. That was some swimming experience, with the enitre olympic size pool, all to yourself.

Anyway, once home, I was reasonably tired. I had thought I ll go to the gym before sleeping, but then I just lazed away. I had been awake nearly 20 hours by then. On days when you havent slept for that long, sleep just caresses you with its welcoming arms, and your mind gives in guiltlessly, for it knows this is the 'sleep' you deserve!!

An excuse to remember IIT days

2008-03-26T03:38:00.010+05:30

I had a long look at my photo on this blog. Hey, I look pretty!! dont I??

This pic was clicked on the day of GH's Diwali function...now what was it called...I just forgot...I dont believe...has it been so long that I have started forgetting things at IIT...or was it that i never stayed there long enough to get used to the names...but anyway...that day was also the eve of my birthday. I still remember Neeraj having sponsored my birthday cake that we cut in the basky court that night. He just sponsored the cake, and never even came for a bite. The reason was evident when we all tasted the cake...it was far from great!!
Coming back to the pic...it was clicked by Arpit Srivastava..he was a third year b.tech student...whom I had scowled at, at the photo exhibition of antaragni. Reason being"I wasnt even clicked in a single photograph" ( Arpit was the photography club coordinator or something of the likes). Since I bandifully shouted at him, he agreed to click my snaps on some other occassion. To ensure that he doesnt procastinate the issue & get away with it, I told him to do it on the GH function (i am still not able to recall the name) and click my snaps. To that he replied that he wasnt invited. Now, I have this soft-corner for boys@IITK who didnt get a chance to attend these events at GH. So my first reaction was that I invited him over as my guest for the evening. So I had one more guest in the long list of guys whom I had already invited over. Occassions like the one I am talking about made girls in IITK really regret the skewed ratios. Because a girl had to invite several if not numerous boys, which ended up being an expensive affair. In case of the MBA girls, 7 of us were inviting the 40 boys of our class + some other personal guest, which in my case were Arpit & an alumni called Rajendu who was in campus for a visit at that time. Neeraj & Pathak were already invited by Urvashi ( they all belonged to the same deptt. - Civil). For the batch of 2006, it was famous that all notorious people on campus belonged to the Civil Engineering department- Urvashi completely lived up to it; and did I forget to mention that Neeraj & Pathak were the definitions of 'notorious people'!! More on the 2006 Civil Engineering deptt. some time later...
I could hear the gleeful thankyou from Arpit when I extended the invitation. He was pretty overwhelmed at the prospect of being in the midst of girls in GH. And for that, being someone's personal photographer was very little price to pay.
Arpit's first time at GH, was not so eventful, atleast thats what i felt! I dont know what the videoscope of his eyes had to say about the whole evening. He sure was at task, he had borrowed a digi-cam from somewhere, to make sure he justifies the cause of the invitation. He clicked me on several occassions throughout the evening, and everytime he would go 'clik' he would explain (read caveat), "photographs from digi-cams are never too good!!". By the end of it, I wanted to tell him that I wont mind taking the blame of bad photos on my average looks, but him blaming the digi-cam was something I wasnt really appreciating...anyhow I didnt tell him..because I thought he really was obliging me by clicking me when he could have well treated his visual senses to much more...
Next day was Deepshikha ( yes I remeber the name!! this was the Hall-2 diwali function, I also remember the name of the Hall-3 diwali function - it was Deepanjali). Since I had invited Arpit for the GH function, it was obligatory for him to invite me to his. So I was invited to Deepshikha. Now I really appreciated that because Arpit by virtue of being a hall 5 resident, wasnt entitled to invite me to deepshikha. However, his roots were hall-2, so he had asked one of his bachchas to arrange for a dinner coupon for me. Not that I had to feel so thankful, because even if he wouldnt have done that, Neeraj or Yash or someone would have taken me along, and have me have their dinner coupon( which they got by virtue of their executive member status in the Students' Gymkhana). Oh ok, so it wasnt Urvashi who had invited Neeraj & Pathak...tabhi main kahoon Urvashi itni dildaar kab ho gayi!!...One thing about Urvashi -She was quite a 'Lala', I mean not only by virtue of being Urvashi Srivastava, but also in the true sense of it...but I wont elaborate too much on that because I am one too...though not in the true sense!!
Anyway Deepshikha was far more entertaining than was the previous evening in GH. I had always heard in GH that Hall-2 skits are very famous (rather infamous) for their notorious content. Infact Urvashi had told me that in the first year the hall-2 guys had named some girls(Ruchera & Vindhya to be precise- who were the babes of 2006 batch) as part of their script. Also it was said that Vindhya had apparently walked out after seeing such a direct onslaught of her identity. Also there was quite a hype & hoopla about the whole thing, which had branded the hall-2 guys as being the more indecent lot of their batch. And as if that wasnt enough, Neeraj once told me that in the first year they had reared two puppies in hall 2, one of whom was called Vindhya & the other Ruchera. Of course Vindhya was Neeraj's favorite...I mean the puppy Vindhya ;), so I had heard more about Vindhya(pun-intended). So in the 2006 batch hall-3 guys had the 'decent nice guy' image. I guess that is where my prediliction for CMT (over Neeraj) had taken birth. I mean girls always prefer 'decent nice guys' so no matter whom they hang out with. Hall-3 guys always evoked in me 'more sense of respect'.
Since I had heard so much about the hall 2 skits, I was fancying the chance of being audience to one of them. And I must say the Hall-2 guys didnt disappoint me in terms of the content. I dont remember much of it, but I remember a boy in shorts(read underwear) & vest (he was a shaktimaan alias), who entered the scene, rotated on his feet yelling 'fak fak fak fak fak' ( pun-intended). That was just amazing!! I mean I was rolling with laughter, no matter how hard I tried to act like the decent GH junta. Arpit, who was sitting next to me during the course of the skit, I must say was then the most uncomfortable boy on earth. One because his experience in girl's company was limited, and two that too on an occassion when a boy would just want to be a pervert boy...... I am sure he was regretting having brought me along.
What made the evening even more memorable was that it was my Birthday, and just when we were heading for the dinner area, I heard an announcement that said "President Neeraj Kumar wishes the girls respresentative Shubham Nath a very happy birthday!!". My first reaction was shock, in front of a packed hall-2, that was the last thing I wanted lest I wanted rumours... My second reaction was this couldnt have been done by Neeraj, but before I begun to guess, the culprit confessed his crime - it was Haria's idea ( yes the games & sports secy, whose name was indiscriminantly used to describe someone's foolish behavior- "Arrey, tum Haria ho gaye ho kya!"). My last reaction, on this issue was, "its ok". And now when I look back my reaction is "a memorable birthday!!"
Not that today is my birthday....
Sometimes I think, I just need excuses to remember IIT days. So coming back to why I created this post, I mean the pic. That pic was clicked by Arpit Srivastava in VH ( when we went to drop Rajendu) on the day of....i have still not recalled the name of the function - but i guess everyone can live without it, now that the article is getting over!! Out of the 50 odd pics that he must have clicked that day, only two were worthy of maintaining in my pictures' folder. I mean Ankit had told me digi-cams never produce good pics...so that was ok ;) Out of the two pics, One is this one & the other is the thumbnail of my gtalk - Thanks Arpit!!

'Almost Single'

2008-03-25T18:25:00.005+05:30

In this era of fledgling writers, I came across Advaita Kala whose book 'Almost single' is a rib tickling roller coaster ride. Even in this hilarious ode, she manages to convey some heart touching feelings(in her own unique humorous style). One such was:

"Sometimes, I feel that the desire to love outweighs the desire to be loved. This has to be the reason why so often, we continue to love those who dont deserve to be loved. It helps us feel emotionally employed. 'Amour' becomes a career, a vocation. So we continue to draw from our depleting inner reserves while steadily moving towards emotional bankruptcy."

I thought that was a nice excerpt.
Just completed reading the book, was a nice time-pass read altogether!!

men vs. MEN

2008-03-24T23:16:00.002+05:30

There are men, and there are MEN.
The former refers to those who are men by virtue of:
the double x chromosome in their genes,
the gender column that they tick in any official document, &
the razor & cream they use every morning.
The biological, legal or day to day science associated with manhood when galvanized by character& nature of the individual builds the latter category called – MEN. These are species that have more to manhood than just the above mentioned attributes of science.

The birth& development of either off-shoot cannot be explained lest we delve into the classical debate of nature vs. nurture.
I mean, to be born with certain physical & sexual attributes is one thing & that is what I refer to as the nature aspect of the debate. But how the subtleties of these attributes are manifested ‘in society & by the society’ is all about nurturing MANhood. In the male-dominated, patriarchic society that we belong to, often the birth of an individual with the sexual & physical attributes of a man are enough. Both parents & society don’t feel the need to value-add the individual to grow into a MAN; which is what leaves me wondering if nature is all that is important for the individual to be defined as him, or does society at large have the responsibility of nurturing him into a MAN.

Either ways what prevents me from giving a man the status of a MAN is, if he is 'weak'. What I mean is that if he cannot stand up for what he believes, then he is ‘weak’. If I don’t see men strive hard enough for what they think they want ( and to begin with know what they want) then I believe they don’t have the requisite strength. And mind you this is not the strength that can be attributed to the physical and sexual vigor that the male gender is born with. In fact it is the strength that society nurtures in a man so that he grows up into a man who can take hard, challenging and strong decisions in life. Decisions- which not only propel his own good, but the good of society at large. Such men are not born from their mother's womb, such men are nurtured outside in this big bad world!! I like Khaled Hosseini’s version of what carves out such men. He says:
'A boy who cannot stand up for himself grows up into a man, who cannot stand up for anything in life'
While Hosseini had his own situations & interpretations to justify what he said. For me the first time a boy doesn’t stand up for himself - he has expressed his weakness to do so, and very soon the once shown weakness gives into another such occasion, and a string of such occasions just makes a man get into the habit of being weak – a vicious circle where one weak step leads to another, the other ends up justifying the first & so on. The peril of such a vicious circle is that it keeps churning you round & round without much effort. Breaking the shackles of the leisurely pace & the rhythm of it all, requires some exceptional effort on ones part. Very similar to what happens in rotary motion, the centripetal & centrifugal force once synchronized to each other; make it hard to break the circular motion. And settlement in such a motion is what I refer to nurturing against MANhood.

A boy pushed out of a playing field by his fellow playmates, may walk out thinking that the bigger boys will crush him if he retaliates. I say, getting crushed once is better than carrying the shame & hence the habit of walking out of a playing field for the rest of your life. Boys who do not fight playmates on a playing field, get into the habit of walking out of challenging situations unperturbed & unabashed. Not only do I blame the boy who walks out of the fear of being crushed, also I blame the doting parent who discourages the boy from ‘getting into trouble’. What the doting parent doesn’t realize is that encouraging weakness in one aspect of life, will soon translate into the boy being weak in other aspects too.

They say the first time is always the most difficult, and it is as true about being ‘weak’ as it is about anything in life. In fact, the first time well combated could well mean strength for a lifetime. So, for all the men who want to grow up to be MEN, its time you avoid the first weak step, and for those who have already indulged in that one weak step, its time to fight the forces which are forcing to keep you in the loop of the vicious circle. While its difficult, it surely will help you, and for those who are hoping that God will send that dramatic opportunity for you to show your strength; Let me tell you, God only helps those who help themselves.

I know I have probably not been able to express my acute dislike for ‘weak’ men with the greatest élan. But for those who really want to know who I am talking about, you have to know Amirof ‘The Kiteruner’ & Jalil of ‘A thousand splendid sons’. Amir whose weakness in not being able to save his friend from abuse, leaves him in guilt & a spree of ‘weak’ actions for the rest of the life. While Jalil whose weakness of not accepting the woman he impregnates as his wife, leads him to build a relationship of lies & treachery with his illegitimate daughter- Mariam. God save the Hassans, Mariams & myself from being around men who are weak!!

Post Mahabharata

2008-03-18T16:00:00.002+05:30

All of us remember the great war of Mahabharata, some by having rigored through the pages of the epic, while others having enjoyed it as a sunday morning TV serial. Most of the limelight was stolen therein by the panadavas & kauravas and their differences. To top the glamor quotient of the story was Lord Krishna, whom because of Godhood status none of us could ignore.
The battle of kurukshetra, namely Mahabharata is often camouflaged by the valor & events that took place prior & during the war. But i was really wondering how many of us belonging to this age actually know about what happened thereafter, and moreso what happened to the victorious pandavas. Was it really, another of those all's well that ends well kind of stories?
The answer to this was not known to me myself ( me belonging to 'this age people' that I am talking about). so I did little bit of googling to find out this:

In the years that follow the war Dhritarashtra and his queen Gandhari, and Kunti, the mother of the Pandavas, lived a life of asceticism in a forest retreat and died with yogic calm in a forest fire. Krishna Vasudeva and his always unruly clan slaughtered each other in a drunken brawl thirty-six years after the war, and Krishna's soul dissolved back into the Supreme God Vishnu (Krishna had been born when a part of Vishnu took birth in the womb of Krishna's mother). When they learned of this, the Pandavas believed it time for them to leave this world too and they embarked upon the 'Great Journey,' which involved walking north toward the polar mountain, that is toward the heavenly worlds, until one's body dropped dead. One by one Draupadi and the younger Pandavas died along the way until Yudhishthira was left alone with a dog that had followed him all the way. Yudhishthira made it to the gate of heaven and there refused the order to drive the dog back, at which point the dog was revealed to be an incarnate form of the God Dharma (the God who was Yudhishthira's actual, physical father), who was there to test Yudhishthira's virtue. Once in heaven Yudhishthira faced one final test of his virtue: He saw only the Dhartarashtras in heaven, and he was told that his brothers were in hell. He insisted on joining his brothers in hell, if that be the case! It was then revealed that they were really in heaven, that this illusion had been one final test for him. So ends the Mahabharata!
source(http://web.utk.edu/~jftzgrld/MBh1Story.html)

Interesting I thought!!

Valmiki Jayanti @IITK

2008-03-16T19:33:00.008+05:30

The write-up includes certain objectionble content, which maynot be suitable for people under-18 years. Reader discretion is warranted!

An idle sunday afternoon often muddles up thoughts of various kinds in your mind, some of these might be deep & provoking while others just reminiscence of times you cherished. While some reminescences could be painful ( but that doesnt mean I cry; I am a grown up girl, remember!), the ones which were fun never fail to put a smile back on my face. One such fun incident from my second year at IITK flashed across my mind today.

Late in the evening (not so late by IITK standards though), around 10 pm the gymkhana senate meeting got over. I was part of the meeting by virtue of being the girls repesentative (for those of you who dont know, since girls in IITK are a minority community they get a special quota representation in the students' governance body- the students gymkhana). While walking out of the meeting, some of us decided to catch up with coffee at the academic area nescafe. The cultural secretary Pathak and the president Neeraj, who were then great pals of mine decided to join me for the same.

As the farewells were being bid I heard one gentleman (atleast thats what I thought about him till then) shout out to all others( all of whom there were men, except me!), "aaj valmiki jayanti ka samaroh hai, bhoolna mat!". What followed were a few giggles & promises " haan haan, nahi bhoolenge!". I was quite dumbfounded on having learnt that there seemed to be a high profile cultural program on campus, the posters of which I had missed. 'Never mind!' I thought, since pathak - the cultural secretary was going for a cup of coffeee with me, I could always find out!!

Pathak & I began to walk towards the academic area, while Neeraj who had got stuck with some junta ( nothing new for those who knew Neeraj, and hung about with him) promised to join soon.

On my way to the academic area, I inquired from Pathak what the samaroh was all about. Pathak very non-chalantly described it as a cultural program that took place in Naankari, once every year on the occassion of Valmiki Jayanti. Since Pathak himself was wearing a smirk & I had already heard the other guys in SAC giggle about it, I was convinced that there was more to it; and of course I was determined to find out!

Here I will like to describe a little problem that I have in me- if you describe something to me in straight n simple words, no matter how indecent that maybe I will accept it without any further inquiries or suspicion, but the moment you try n fob me in words, you have just stimulated my inquisition cells. So here I was interviewing Pathak for the rest of the details & hence the complete story.

On asking him what kind of a program it was going to be, he just fended it by saying that its gonna be some dance prepared by the local inhabitants of Naankari village. Ok! I knew the keyword here was 'Dance'. So the inquiry went a step further, "all the guys seemed pretty excited about the dance, so who is the dancer going to be?". "I am not too sure!" said Pathak. I knew he was more than sure, but that jerk-n-half wouldnt let it out to me. So I said "seems like its gonna be fun, can I please join u guys for it?" At this, Pathak was completely taken aback, he gave me one of those expressions " do u have any clue, what you are talking about!" and i gave him back one of those looks "perhaps I do, but I want to hear it straight from you!". when he saw that expression he started his fobbing tactics "dekhiye Shubham, wo na.... ladkiyon ki jaane ki jagah nahi hai". To that I knew all I had to ask was "why, why & why?" till the time I had got a satisfactory answer. But Pathak, in matters of speaking straight is a hard nut to crack . In situations where he knows that his image of a 'decent nice guy' is under threatening, he would just beat around the bush till eternity or till someone came to his rescue!!

Just when I had pestered Pathak enough, Neeraj biked into the academic area, to join us for the coffee which he had promised us both. An irritated Pathak, on having failed to satiate my inquisition of their coveted Valmiki Jayanti samaroh, decided to blurt out the situation through & through to Neeraj. Neeraj began to laugh & Pathak joined him too. Poor me, had to wait till the two of them had done with their laughing. Neeraj, though not a very direct person himself, thought directness was the only way he could have avoided any more questions that could have embaressed both Pathak & himself. He told me that since Naankari isnt such a safe place to go to & since some of the dancers could well be hookers, it is hence not advisable for me to go. Now see, it was that simple, but if only Pathak understood the importance of 'simplicity as a virtue !'

So I went back to the hostel, having left them both to plan the rest of their evening. Of course I waited all evening thereafter, till I thought would be the appropraite time to call up Neeraj & find out about the proceedings of the samaroh...

what?? u thought I would leave it only at a point of knowing what might happen at the samaroh, and wouldnt delve into what actually happened!...rubbish!!
So a little after 1 am, I called up Neeraj, "so gaye the kya??", and he answered "nahi, bus sone ja raha tha!". Liar!

For those of you who dont know, a little piece of information about Neeraj. This guy was famous in the campus as a big liar, he was believed to be an amazing manipulator of words, and he was of course quite big a politician (a lot of b.tech students hated him for his political acumen owing to which he ousted CMT-the har-dil-aziz & my-dil-aziz too ;) candidate, for the post of President of student's gymkhana). But in the midst of all this negative imagery, he had managed to portray himself as someone who would never lie/manipulate/politicize lest it does good to someone else. Anyway, those are just euphemisms of defending: just as a pagal would never concede to the fact that he is a pagal; a liar would never concede to the fact that he is a liar. Pretty natural & justified too!!

Coming back to my phone call to Neeraj, I began to dig out the details. He told me that two prostitutes from Naankari village namely Komal & Kesar were protagnists of the show. I asked him more about the proceedings, he described not in so much detail, but he did repeatedly mention that Kesar danced pretty well. I could make out that he had developed some soft-corner for Kesar ;). So I asked him what kind of songs were playing. He told me that Kesar's dance on Kajra re was pretty good. And what followed was a 10 minute long amorous description of what an excellent dancer Kesar was. On the lighter side I wanted to add, " should we ask Pathak to make her the dance club coordinator of IITK". But his heart-touching description of the woman & her dance didnt permit me to make fun of anything. I must confess he described it more decently than a prostitute in any walk of life can be described. I dont know if he really meant it or was he just using Pathak's tactics of maintaining his image as a 'decent nice guy'.

Whatever it maybe, but I must say IITK guys have this knack of making even the gravest act of perversion sound like a noble deed of patronage.
Hats off to them!!...the JEE surely judges something successfully! ;)

Troy & mythology in general

2008-03-16T14:57:00.005+05:30

For times immemorial, the world has fought over religion; they have all vouched the veracity of their myths and tried to impose them on others. The greats said, there is only one God, others said we are all child of the same Almighty; but none could resolve the dispute, which continues till date. Perhaps the shortcoming of the greats have been in the fact that they have not been able to prove their beliefs, and the big question is that how can one fetch an explanation for “myths”. I am not trying to compare to the greats nor am I claiming that I have an explanation for the fact that there is indeed a single God and that our ancestors’ struggle to prove the veracity of their religious myths have been a waste. All I am saying is that no matter what religion or what be our origin, almost all ethnographies have their myths revolving around the same concepts.
Since I am not a research scholar in history or mythology, I would like to amalgamate both to prove my point. And for this purpose I would want to draw an analogy between the history of Greek Trojan wars and the Indian mythology of Mahabharata. Many concepts may sound fledglings but when thought in deep does have a basis somewhere.

Women is the apparent cause of war: though ulterior motives of the war vest in the greed of one of the parties of the war.
Ulterior motives of greed for kingdom are exposed: Dhritarashtra’s settlement to distribute the kingdom between kauravas and pandavas is not accepted by kauravas - Menelaus urge to settle the war in a fight with Paris was rejected by his commander in chief - Agamemnon.
The apparent immortality of Achilles vs. that of Duryodhana: In the end Achilles' weakness in the form of his heel( which his mother did not immerse in the holy river of immortality) is exposed and he perishes just like any normal human. On the other hand, Duryodhana whom Gandhari had viewed naked and hence made each part of his body anasthetic to pain had weakness lying in his theighs, which was ultimately used to persih him.
Walled city of Hastinapur vs. kingdom of Troy behind walls: But I guess this is typical of most kingdoms defined by mythology & history, so it isnt after all that big a similarity.
Cheating as a means of attaining victory: Chhal- hitting duryodhana on the theigh(which isnt allowed in the form of war that Bheem & Duryodhana were indulging in), when no other means of ousting him were left. Entry of Greek warriors in the city of troy by means of the Trojan horse, when all other means of fighting it out were eliminated.
Dilemmas: Dhritarashtra’s limitation of visual impairment leading to the arguement of succession and heir to throne. While Dhritarastra was only being fair to his sons. Paris was only justifying the blessing having been granted to him - Paris’ dilemma of marrying the fairest woman(as granted by Venus) who is the wife of Menelaus.

I am sure there must be several other similarities and differences, these are the obvious oes which struck a layman like me.However, the end of both these odes are very different. While in mahabharata the pandavas- who are deemed to be the followers of dharma emerge victorious; In the battle of Troy the better side ultimately perishes. I guess that is the reason why Mahabharata is remembered and studies as an epic whileTroy is mere history!

Whether to discuss or to not…

2008-03-16T14:25:00.000+05:30

From a mere methodology of eliminating candidates in the selection process of a B-school, to a strategic tool of team work, my perceptions of the need of a group discussion have undergone immense metamorphosis. Whether my opinion of group discussions has alofted or abased, I perhaps would never be able to figure out; for the moot remains as open ended as group discussions themselves .
Five months into a B-school, I see myself use this tool as often as my lungs (if I had the permission to exaggerate a “little”!). The indispensability and ubiquity of its existence in a B-school environment forces me to delve into its usage and role in my pre- MBA life.
So a Back gear applied to time tells me that a very raw form of such group discussion did exist in the face of an overnight “bulla session”* at a pal’s room. So the value addition to my previous skills since I joined MBA, is that I have learnt to structure my “bulla sessions”, jargonize them as group discussions, and tomorrow in the corporate I would further jargonize them as the strategic meetings!
Well, that was my take on group discussions, analyzing what my peers have to say about it, I would like to quote my recent visit to IIM-Lucknow and my introduction to their local terminology called “globe”. The aborigines of the campus explained that this term describes the speech of a person who knows nothing about the issue and goes on and on with his gibberish. I could immediately relate the above-told definition to certain people whom I had worked with in groups. It’s not uncommon to find people coming to group discussions without having done their homework and then they “globe” away to glory!
From the reaction of those who introduced me to the term and my own personal experience, those with this appellation are neither appreciated nor respected. That further brings me to analyze the motivation behind “globing”. And I once again apologize for introducing yet another jargon – “Intellectual Masturbation”. This jargon explains the act of satisfying one’s ego by making statements intended to show off one’s intelligence. Issues having the remotest correlation with the agenda at hand are ranted to win the attention and appreciation of group members. Acting like a know-it-all jerk is indeed a unique characteristic of an intellectual masturbator, although everyone wishes these souls would just shut up!
Now the big question is, in such a structured bulla session where intellectual masturbators globe around, what happens to the decision to be taken??
Well, the answer is plain and simple nothing!
While one member tries to shut up the intellectual masturbator, the other makes a point which is opposed by another member and yet again intruded by some globing, finally taking the discussion from nowhere to NOWHERE!
But observation and experience tells that the outcome of group activities is more often than not “not NOWHERE”. So how does this outcome miraculously appear from nowhere??
The answer to that as most managers would put “depends…” It depends whether there exists some hierarchy of authority within the group or is it just a group of peers. In the former case, let us say is a senate meeting, then in the end the word of the convener shall be the word of the senate. In the latter, the most powerful and verbatim voice emerges as the ultimate voice of the group. So conclusions come either by the authority or the heavy-voiced or in absence of both from the most patient person of the group, when all others have drained in energy and patience to argue out further.
The above didactics give a picture of hopelessness and forces one to think, if this is all about group dynamics and there is very little that can be done, then why live this entire exercise repeatedly, day after day?? Why not allow dictatorship of authority and heavy voices do the needful??
Well it’s all done to make the junta “feel good” that at least they are heard. The entire exercise is an attempt to give the “opinion of one” the legitimacy of being the “decision of the group”. To introduce group members with the hard facts that suggestions are suggestions and may never get the status of being more than suggestions – but well-tried lad! And that’s what keeps the vicious circle of making and pursuing suggestions by means of globing or other legitimate techniques.
To elaborate on the irony of the vicious circle I quote Eisenhower, “Though nothing comes out of planning, but nothing would go on without planning!”

* In IITK lingo chit chatting is referred to as “bulla”!

People: Self-realization in new forms of enterprises

2008-03-16T14:15:00.003+05:30

Webster’s Dictionary defines self-realization as the ethical theory that the highest good for man consists in realizing or fulfilling himself usually on the assumption that he has certain in born abilities constituting his real or ideal self.

As Saint Shankara of Indian origin says that the knowledge of self cannot spring up by any other means than the inquiry –‘Who am I?’ And no matter what context the individual may be in, his search for solutions, and the coherence of their answer must always be embedded in the back of his minds.
To understand how can an individual’s search for himself/herself be quenched, one has to understand the essence of the modern enterprise, and the various possibilities it in stores for its greatest resource-it’s people. An enterprise is a business developed by the people of the country rather than the government; the word itself is an adjective, which describes the capacity of an individual or a group of individuals to implement the creativity, and innovation that is inherent in them. An enterprise is simply the analogy of the politics of democracy, which claims to be by the people, for the people and of the people. That is the kind of power people have in an enterprise!

Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely!
So, what is that keeps a check on the corruption predicted by the above adage?? Is it the hierarchy of a tall organizational structure? Or is it the fear of punishment-centered beurocracy?
To the surprise of everyone the new forms of enterprises are far from beurocracy in their organizational behavior. The more popular form of the modern enterprise is ‘organic’- A flat structure that is large enough to be resourceful and small enough to foster creativity and innovation. Here the prime emphasis is on the parity of people and judicious use of their energies. Implementing the goal of the enterprise rather than paying for the beurocratic costs and complexities of a multi-tiered organization is the prime emphasis of such an organizational structure.

But in such organizations, who checks the potential threats caused by free power and who is answerable to the abrupt and exploitative use of resources?
The answer to this lies in the art of self-realization, or in terms of modern jargon called the “people centered approach towards management”. In this approach, organizations treat people both as the means and ends of running the organization. From being the basic resource to processing of these resources, then leading, criticizing and appreciating to finally succeeding in achieving the enterprises’ goal – people are THE all and END all of the organization. With their brain and unique characteristics they form the heart of the enterprise, constantly molding themselves to the changing environment, adopting and recreating organizational culture and answering the science of change in real time.
People in the modern enterprise are the biggest resource; they are the basis of creativity and innovation that the modern organization boasts of. Without them the enterprise would become a Robot, who would just do as much as it is programmed to do. It is thus the onus of the enterprise not to mechanize its employees to become robots, and for this they have to implement the well-known tool of self-realization- perfecting it to their context and environment. Such perfection in self-realization will imbue in the employees a spirit of creativity, and the so-called jobs will no longer be jobs but an implementation of every individual’s unique capability.

Creativity is priceless and so is the creator.
An enterprise’s respect towards its creators is thus another factor that fosters the concept of people as a resource for their organization. Since time immemorial, creators have faced the problem of demotivation and demoralization. There was a time when character of strength (in order to avoid getting demotivated) was a prerequisite for being at the helm of innovation. Those who exhibited this prerequisite succeeded in creating while the others got lost in the oblivion of trying. Edison succeeded in making the electric bulb after a thousand failures, but for every such Edison that we know there must have been thousand others who gave up midway. Learning from history, such that the modern enterprise ensures innovation, constant motivation and imbuement of a strong character in its employees is of utmost importance.

Man is nature’s machine and none can compete with nature’s creativity.
Technology might be the buzzword and also the source of cutting down on the number of people in an organization, but no matter how advanced technology gets it may never be able to undermine the role of people in an enterprise. One might argue that advances in technology are challenging the human intellect, but the argument falls flat if we take into account that not more than 20% of the human brain is functional in a given period of time. So as the lesser mortals offend the human brain’s capability vis-à-vis modern technology, one must consider that advances in human technology would accompany advances in machine technology. Thus the gap between technology and humans shall pervade even with science showing remarkable success.
Technology is only an aid for processing information and can never undermine the vast human capability of processing variegated information. The enterprise is thus responsible for not only exploiting this unique capability of the humans but also to make its people feel confident that as long as they are not brain dead, they are the soul of the organization and technology can only support this soul and not challenge its essence.

Monitoring is a very fundamental way of attaining discipline
How often a class of fifth graders is seen turn into hooligans in the absence of the ‘class monitor’. But comparing fifth graders to people in organizations is not fair, for they are not just grown-ups but as per human nature are big protestors of a sword hanging on their neck. This sword may take different faces in an organization-bosses, deadlines, resource constraints, bounded rationality in decision-making. These contribute to potential impediments in pursuing creativity, which is the fuel of an enterprise. To avoid such impediments monitoring the ‘self’ becomes very crucial. Adopting the organic structure and removing the position and need of a boss is the answer to fostering a culture of innovation. The lack of bosses not only eliminates fear but create a search for a boss within the self. The advantage of this internal boss is that apart from dictating it also acts like a mentor- criticizing, appreciating, applauding and encouraging the individual to earn further laurels for himself. Also the voice of the boss from within ensures that the individual and the people around him/her are protected from making any moral compromises or hazards.

Jay Earley says, “Each of us has a special function to perform in the world, based on our unique talents and personal qualities, our lifetime learnings, and our heartfelt concerns and passions. When you discover these gifts within yourself and create or uncover your purpose in life, you will have found the key to a meaningful, happy life and to making your greatest contribution to healing our planet.”
As per Jay Earley’s concept of self-realization: the modern enterprise is a platform for performing a special function that has been assigned to one. To guide people in doing this there is no external mentor but one’s talent, personal qualities, lifetime learnings and heartfelt concerns and passions. It is this process of using one’s self to perform special functions that discovers the gifts within an individual and uncover’s his/her purpose in life. This is indeed the path to a meaningful and happy living both for the self and for the enterprise.

Sky is the limit...

2008-03-16T14:13:00.000+05:30

published in Avant Garde

At one point or the other in our life, almost each one of us must have cursed our work and desperately hoped for a change. I wonder if all hopers against hope ever analyzed: “why is it that they can never retire themselves from the idea of cursing their work, while in this same very world exist some others who don’t retire from the work they have done all their lives.” Well, the answer is suggested by the following quote:
“Make your passion your profession and you shall not have a single working day in your life”
In simple words, those who don’t retire, never worked at all…Now, don’t get me wrong here…I am not elaborating on the social problem of unemployment, rather I am talking about people who employ/engage themselves with work, which to them is more of passion than a mere means of finding the ends to life. And this piece of writing talks about my encounter with one such passion-infused individual.

Tall & lanky, he could well be mistaken for the unkempt school boy, who after a busy day of feuds and quarrels rushes to his workspace to shed his residual energy. But this guy was neither school going, nor finding a vent for his residual energy; to my surprise he was an engineer from the prestigious IIT, and what he was up to was his primary passion and not a residue of what his effort after four rigorous years at IIT left in him.
An entrepreneur by profession, Mr. Bramh Awasthi is presently the cent percent equity holder of his one year old startup ‘Whirlybird’. The organization, by virtue of its age may sound a fledgling, but has enough passion infused by its proprietor to show promise both in terms of its present performance and future prospects.
As a child, Bramh was a big time techie and dreamed of being in the IIT in order to pursue his passion for technology. He pursued his passion while in IIT Kanpur, by being on the lookout for entrepreneurial avenues in the area of technology. As a student of the aeronautical engineering department at IITK, Bramh found the right elevation to fly his air vehicle of dreams and as a byproduct of his departmental endeavors was born the backbone of ‘Whirlybird’.
As a third year student of B.Tech, the visage of Bramh’s entrepreneurial venture looked like a ‘rotary wing unmanned aerial vehicle’ (in simple words an automatically driven helicopter). His vision, expertise and passion took him to the USA for a summer internship, where he not only gained the appropriate exposure to kick start ‘Whirlybird’ but also brought back the requisite raw material unavailable in India for operational-zing his vision. After very little encouragement from the faculty community, Bramh and his friends created their dream helicopter as a partial fulfillment for the requirement of his degree of bachelor of technology. The prototype that he thus created was perfect in every sense except for the presence of an important component called the inertial measurement unit which Bramh owing to cross- boundary laws could not bring back from the USA. This unavailability of the IMU was what changed Whirlybird’s first product from a rotary wing UAV to the Inertial Measurement Unit.
In 2004, after passing out from IITK, Bramh (all alone) began the operations of Whirlybird under the aegis of small industries development bank of India (SIDBI). Today, one year later, the IMU made by Whirlybird is in its second version and catching the attention of the Indian defense’s military applications need. Having started as a one man show, its small successes managed to attract more people to Whirlybird and its present strength stands at 6, whereby it employs 5 others who toil day and night to make this technology startup into a name that would someday put Whirlybird in juxtaposition with the Boeings and the Rockwells of the world.
Apart from like mindedness, technological inclination and passion the core philosophy of the company is also to delve into products of non-military application which make use of high end cutting edge technology, and for this simple reason the next possible product that Whirlybird is looking at launching is an electronic stethoscope. According to Bramh, while the IMU is a product that satiates his patriotic feeling, the stethoscope has the potential to cater to a social concern. And it is this non-monetary purpose of making a product that drives the present team of Whirlybird to strike more wonders in the future.
Bramh believes that not each and every individual in an organization can be equally motivated and that the motivation of the entire organization can be built on the edifice of the extremely motivated few, who in turn motivate the others. Thus, Bramh is on a lookout for people like him who share a similar passion to create a healthy and passionate platform from where he could challenge the limits of the sky!!

My Videoconferencing experience

2008-03-14T15:24:00.006+05:30

I experienced videoconferencing today...

In this shrinking world,I know I sound archaic, when I express excitement about something like 'videoconferencing' . But the fact that people treat videoconferencing trite enough is in itself an achievement for the generation that we are born in & the age in which we are living.....

I still remember, 10 years ago when my sister had relocated to Banagalore for her education, my parents used to call her up from Delhi every third day, early in the morning at 5.30 am, so that the charges for an STD call would be half or one fourth or some fraction which I dont remember and dont even think is worth remembering, given the ease with which I can call anyone in Bangalore without hurting my pocket too much today. Its amazing that our society has undergone such an amzing technological metamorphisis. Things like video conferences are fixed at the blink of an eye!

We sometimes take things so much for granted, but when I delve more into my own lifestyle, I see my whole existence runs on the backbone of technology. Infact the industry in which I work relies so heavily on this, that if it crashes I can lose my job at the blink of an eye. Telephonic conversations with my boss who lives half way round the world & desktop sharing with my line of business partners are some common activities which if I miss, my existence in the organisation & the existence of my organisation in the first place become so unjustified.

Infact technology has transcended such leaps and bounds that till 5 years ago you were still hearing about scoop/gossipy news of the first internet marraige or internet dating that turned into marraiges. Such things have become such common phenomenon nowadays that they dont even form part of news. The autorickshaw driver who rode me down to office in the morning was merrily conversing on his mobile phone (I have to confess here that I was a little embaressed when he took out his phone because he had a better model phone than I have. And for those of you who think, this woman is not status conscious at all, let me tell that the organisation that I work for doesnt allow me to be status conscious - I mean camers phones are not allowed in my office...:(...all BACS employee will empathize with me on this...for the rest of you...u can laugh...i wont mind it!)

Coming back to technology, i must say that there still exists some bit of a mental blockade with its usage. I mean atleast with the usage of some advanced forms like VC which I did. When i came out of the videoconference, I wanted to do some sundry grocery shopping, but i refrained by telling myself "what if the guy whom I just met, saw me doing this, what would he think", and so I procastinated the plan...the moment that thought flickered across my mind, the next was a laugh on myself which said "arre stupid, he was sitting in bangalore, he cannot catch u doing sundry grocery shopping in Mumbai, lest the VC camera is still following u"...hahahaha...i thought!

Another busy day...this time tiring too!

2008-03-12T22:29:00.003+05:30

I hate days when I am so busy that I dont find time for myself...I just hate them...I think more than the tiredness of busy days...what kills me is the guilt that I didnt find time for my own self...Today was not only a busy day...it was very long....it started at 7.30 am, and would last another hour or so...and the fact that I didnt have time to think about my own self makes it feel even longer...
Writing this piece is all the time I have found for myself since morning. My need to find privacy with myself sometimes worries me, and to top it all it makes me feel, how long it will last. They say enjoy it as long as it lasts, but my worry is what I am treating as enjoyment may just turn into a habit- riddance from which may be far too difficult, and maintaining it may just be too costly in terms of my social ties & my marital life in general.
Today- Talking of social ties, a lot of my time once again was spent on phone, meeting a friend to solve his love life problem - apni to koi love life nahi hai dusro ki solve karo!! to be honest I enjoyed helping (or atleast what I thought was helping!) him, but now taht I rrealise that it didnt leave any time for my own self, its making me feel as if I didnt set my priorities right...dont know...i am not too sure...but right now I know I am feeling very low...very tired...and even the thought of anything that causes the adrenalin to flow (like my niece back home) is asqueezing too much energy out of me...
Planetary positions may have a role to play in it...it could well be the position of Mars in Cancer where it is weak and debilitated. If you havent met me, you wouldn't know how well I exemplify the marshian energy. My confidence is the edifice of the valor that a marshian warrior exhibits, my excitement level is an indicator of his eagerness, my extremism represents his patriotism, and even my speech has the boldness & promise of his words......
Off-late i have developed the habit of relating a lot of events to planetary positions...i think they do have a role to play...orperhaps they only have a role to play on my mental make-up...reading about planetary positions I guess is causing a psychological synchronization of me with how the stars cause people & surroundings to behave. Anyhow, I am sure all planets dont show such strong influences in my life...well if they do then I will get to know it tomorow because thats when Venus enters Pisces. When Venus is in Pisces it is very happy & exalted...they say it accentuates your desire to love & be loved ...hehehe...i wonder what effect that will have on me...if it has some effect on someone else please do let me know....i really want to know how venus in pisces manifests its effects...

A busy day...

2008-03-11T18:15:00.002+05:30

There are days when you dont even get time to breathe. And more the number of occassions for oversleeping, more are such days in my life. Anyways, today was one such day.
Woke up at 11, rather should say was woken up by priyanka. The meat of the conversation was the usual, discussion on some woes of our not so exciting life, gloomed by the rigor of arranging each others' and our own marraiges. While talking to her I missed 2 calls on call waiting. Once my 30 minute conversation with Priyanka was done, I decided to rush to the gym without getting back to the missed calls. That is what happens when u hadnt gone to gym for 5 days and have had a weekend of hogging in your hometown- gym becomes utmost priority...which u wont miss even if that means missing office...while in gym i kept the phone with me, lest I miss any more calls. Not that it would be any delight to answer calls while panting on the tread mill. But nevertheless, having missed 2 calls already since morning I didnt want to repeat it. But then Sir Murphy does his tricks, when u dont want things to go wrong they surely will!!
While in the gym i didnt get a single call, but the moment I went home and rushed for a bath, the phone began to beep again, when I returned- another 4 missed calls, out of which 2 were from my sister...she has an amazing sense of timing!! While in the auto I got another 2 missed calls from her, so the moment I reached office( which was few minutes past 2pm, and look at my cheek, I still had personal errands to finish) I gave her a call, lest she would go to lodge a complaint about her absconding sister in the local police thana. I just hope she knows that she would have to do that in a Mumbai police station and not in Pune (which is where she lives). She rejected my call...which meant she was in a meeting....I told you, she has an amazing sense of timing!!...just when I get free( or rather just when i find the time to revert her call) she decides to get busy...anyway thats how she is...and she is my sister...so i have to live with this fact, and with her presence in my life!! To top it all, guess what was my sister's 4 missed calls since morning were about...sundry haal-chaal. Though there were a few updates interpersed too, but largely the call was about haal-chaal.
Once on my desk in office, I checked my mail, nothing special there though. I knew from last evening, I will have to show some work on a dataset that my boss & I had discussed last evening. So all I had to do was to compile something on that end and send it across before he would come online which would have been after 5pm. Curse this daylight saving, now my boss comes online an hour earlier than he used to last week. So on days when I come into office late, I lose out on that one hour advantage. Though that also means that I can now get home an hour earlier than I was till last week. For all those who are still aweing my cheek of entering the office so late, let me tell u my official office timings after DST are 11.30 am to 8.30 pm. So I wasnt that much late after all. Ok I was late never the less!!...But chalta hai...mere office mein ye sab chalta hai!! Infact I remember one of my ex-colleague in this team having said that its the best job you can have if you are newly married, it gives u all the liberty to devote more time at home. Pitty, he got married after leaving this job... For me- shaadi or no-shaadi, a late-riser & oversleeper like me enjoys it for reasons very obvious !!
Knowing that I had a good odd three hours to finish what I was suppose to, I decided to get back to all other missed calls I have had since morning. None very exciting though. One was from my school days childhood friend Prateep, he is looking out for a job change, needed some help from me. Others were some job placement consultants, not that i was very actively interested in them- who would be after having a cushy job in which you come into the office at 2 pm. Another one which I never called back, looked like ICICI bank's Chennai call centre. Good Lord, i wish i miss it again, the next time they call!!
All in all, a busy day, by the way, my boss just liked what I showed to him an hour ago. He thinks its a 'good start' to the project. In my case starts are always good, the end of those projects, I really dont know if they ever end, most of those projects get scrapped, and for my team mates who have seen it happen...know how much exactly to laugh at this!!

How LOW is your cost of travelling by air?

2008-03-10T12:59:00.005+05:30

Back in June of 2005, was the first time I flew a low cost airline. The concept of low cost air travel was fledgling at that time, and a lot was done to create an attraction for it. But since that journey I think most of my travel has used airplanes in part or whole( btw travelling to Pune from Mumbai is not counted as travel by me!!). Infact in recent times i remember having dropped travel plans altogether if I dont find good air connectivity to my desired destination. Not to forget, after my first low cost airline travel, I lived in Kanpur for a whole year and travel from Kanpur to Pune (my home town) was always partially done by air. Reasons were simple:

Far too convenient: For the very short vacations that I used to get in IITK, it made very little sense to train from Kanpur to Mumbai and then change trains to pune ( there werent any direct kanpur -pune trains then). Travel time by using air partially, was reduced to one half. Thus increasing the time I spent with family at home!!
Safety & Security: The sleepless nights that my parents incurred owing to my long( mumbai to kanpur by pushpak express was approx. 22 hr long journey) train travel to notrious UP, had no other solution except changing the mode of travel from train to plane - at leaset partially (though from Delhi I always had to take a train).
Low cost wave: For middle lass families like mine air travel on the low cost airline could well be juxtaposed to AC 3 tier train travel, and hence had become warrantable.

Time passed and the last of the three reasons for choosing air travel just kept diminishing. The taxes on low cost airline when they started out was approx. Rs. 500, and today they are more than Rs. 2000. Which is clearly more than 3.5 times, even if I adjust for inflation in the 3 years, that have passed since the advent of the concept. But factor one clearly outdoes this 3.5 times increase in costs, so it doesnt bother someone like me to drop travel plans for the sheer limitation of available flights.

Am i only complaining about the increased taxes in airfares, or is there more??

Well, where I came from was that on Friday I happened to visit the Chhatrpati Shivaji international airports' domestic terminal. For all those, who have already begun to guess that it was another of my 4 am ventures, lemme tell u, how i wish it was, and infact the last time I did see-off someone there, I walked all the way back to my house (which must be a good 6-7 km from the domestic terminal) at 10 pm( only wishing had it been 4 am instead of 10 pm). Believe me, the 7 km stroll was extremely invigorating, introspective & inspiring; reason being i was all alone with myself, there was a relative lull on Mumbai roads that day & I did manage to make up for bunking gym & eating mysore masala dosa that day.

Coming back to why i was at CSIA on Friday, I had to pick up Dad & join him in his cab to Pune. Daddy was coming from Delhi, and since Pune airport is functional only between 11 am & 5 pm, his meeting which got over well past 4 pm, didnot permit him to catch a flight direct to Pune. He took a flight to Mumbai instead, and had wanted himself driven down to Pune. That was incidental expense #1 of those dependant too much on air travel. Here I would like to highlight another peril that too many airlines & low cost services have posed to smaller city airports like the one in Pune. Pune's airport orignally belonged to the IAF & wasnt used to the amount of wear-n-tear that it has undergone in recent times, so in order to keep its rigor under control, while preparing it for more rigor, the Pune airport doesnot function round the clock.

For the information of all those, who have never visited the CSIA domestic terminal or for those who had visited it more than a year ago. Mumbai dometic airport has broken all bounds of imagination in terms of the infrastructural poshness. The CSIA which was a once a near to ordeal experinece has now transformed into sheer delight!! However, that doesnt reduce the woes of air travellers who anyway pay the incidental expenses of airtravel.

So on Friday, i was one of those who was paying the incidental expense of my dad's travel by air. I took my office cab towards andheri station, which dropped me on the western express highway. I tried to hail an auto towards the airport, only to be told that he maynot be able to take me all the way into the airport area because then he will have to qeueue up in a long line to get his next passenger. So it was time to pay incidental expense #2. I thought to myself that the airport was only 2.5 kms from where I was standing, and I can never discount the idea of walking a km or two on days when I bunk gym. So I began to walk towards the airport, also relieved by my Dad's phone call which said that his flight had just landed. I made it just in time, when my Dad appeared at the arrival gate. As we walked through the spic n span pathways of the airport, my dad's attention was occupied in figuring out his cab driver's arrival status. When he informed us that he would take another 20 mins to make it to the airport, Dad & I decided to do petpooja at the pristine Balaji restaturant(though veg. restaurants are never our choice, we didnt have much choice then), right next to the arrivals. that is where we ended up paying incidental expense # 3. While most of the food felt slightly over-priced by the standards of the restaurant, the tandoori roti was just not acceptably priced. For Rs. 25 a roti, I thought we had the most average tandoori roti of our life. Anyway, that is what a "shanghai-style" city airports will charge u. And now i know why GMR doesnt advertise carrying lighter wallets, to those who are "getting ready for India", because they are "getting India ready for them" instead. ;)

From experiences on different occassions, I can tell that incidental expense #4 could well have been paying autowalas, more than the meter suggests. For all Delhites, who have done this all their life, and are thinking what is new about paying more than what the meter reads, or rather for the very typical delhites 'meter-ye kis chidiya ka naam hai', let me tell u, in mumbai except while travelling out of the airport, you shall never ever be asked for more than what reads on the meter. I pay autowala bhaiya a ten rupee bill every morning while coming to office, and he most sincerely returns the 1-rupee for my 9-rupee ride. i am often embaressed taking the 1-rupee from him, because what follows 'walking into an MNC bank's back-office' just doesnt justify it. But then thats Mumbai!! They say, you hate it as long as you are here, but you just dont stop missing it once you are gone from here.

Well, in my case the first line of the saying is for sure true, for the second i am desperately waiting for the opportunity to experience what happens when I am gone from here. Dont know when that would happen, but I know that there are quite a few incidental expenses associated with air travel, which is what this article was suppose to be about....sorry, i wandered a bit too much :P

Feasting Fasting

2008-03-07T14:41:00.003+05:30

1 can of Baked Beans in tomato sauce
3 slices of Toasted Bread
loads of water
Some orange juice
...is all I took to break my mahashivratri fast this morning....feasting after fasting is a very big incentive that prompts me towards fasting in the first place...
Mahashivratri is one fast that I have kept eversince I was a little kid...my mom encouraged both of us ( sisters) to keep it...when i started keeping it...i was too young to question its significance...but now as I understand the fact that it God Siva & Parvati's wedding anniversary, I see very little reason for having kept it in the first place...i mean wedding anniversaries are times to party & make merry...you probabaly go out and dine instead of starving for food & shrinking of moisture....
I mean in future whenever I have to, thats how I would celebrate my wedding anniversaries...i.e. if I ever get married ...;)

Resilience in love...

2008-03-06T14:16:00.003+05:30

I thank God for having made me a woman. Women they say have immense resilience, and i appreciate my capacity on the same.
I have felt great eversince i resurrected the habit of writing. I dont know why & what forced me to do away with it, but eversince i have returned to it there has been a spring in my stride, a jingle in my voice, a gleam in my eyes & to top it all, an awareness of who am i. Over the past few days I have written nothing that could propel a rocket or shake this world, infact if I were to categorize all my recent writings in one word, i d rather say it was 'folly'. But the myself in me would never discount even an act of folly, because all big things begin very small. I dont know where this second life in writing will lead me to , but I can sense round the corner some big time awareness about my own self.
For the past two years (or maybe the time since I came to Mumbai), I have been running after one thing or the other, and if I were to enumerate what these things were, I would probably spend all day thinking about it and yet not come up with anything concrete or worth sharing. The conclusion is simple, while Mumbai nagariya which can easily be epithet as mayanagari, has had no concrete development to offer to me, all it had me grow in was maya. All people here run after maya, and involuntarily I too had joined the race, not realising that the love that is such an inherent need of me was taking a back seat. And now I know that expecting love from someone else was maya again, and so if at all I need something, I need to love myself.
Marraiges they say is all about Falling in love with the same person over and over again, several times. I say the same about one's individuality, one's confidence, one's personality. To encourage an integration/a marraige between what you want to be, and what you are, you have to fall in love with yourself over & over again. The last time I was in love with me was when I was in IIT, when my solitude was of utmost importance, my ability to converse with my own self, all alone, at a time of the day when the campus was all asleep was what led me to the realisation of what shubham was all about. I still rememeber the deserted streets of IITK, at 3 am, when all hall canteens closed, the roads had nobody walking on them, yet there were the few bustops where the love couple found sweet refuge ;). that was the time when me & my bicycle raced on the roads unbridled.... someone who would have seen me speeding then, would have coined me a 'rash' rider, but for those lesser mortals the realisation of how aware I was about myself was unfathomable, and for me its unmatchable till date.
And now I know why then i had so many admirers of my confidence, my abilities, my personality: because I knew who I was!!
I tried to keep my awareness of the same alive for as long as I could in IITK, but the practical considerations guiding my whole purpose of being in an MBA program ( i.e. finding a job), just pulled me off it. Though people like me never doubted a goodjob for themselves, and even when it happened i was more proud of how it shaped up than how skeptical I had been of it. My subsequent life in Mumbai didnt help the cause of bringing self-awareness any bit.
Though I was involuntarily pulled into the sundries of life in mumbai, on occassions I did make attempts to break the shackles. I still remember my 4 am tryst with myself at Marine drive. I, lying on the pavement next to the sea- gazing up at the starlit sky, with the breeze offering the same sparsh which a husband exceptionalizes for his wife, when they vow in marraige. All those who came to know about this excursion(excursion for them, tryst for me), could just not fathom that I used something as utilitarian & torturous as the mumbai local train to reach a place which had an idle waterbody, and that too at 4 am in the morning!! They made me feel more foolish, than i felt aware of myself thereafter!!
I never did that again...not that had I done it everyday, would I have derived the same pleasure. Because, after all, the effort of getting to marine drive from andheri(where I live) every morning is quite a lot, if not gargantuan.
Recently, a friend of mine called me up to discuss the instability that he was facing in his current job. From what I knew about his job, I knew this would have come up sooner or later. He used to take his job very lightly, and I knew he could enjoy it as long as it lasted, but the day it would be over, the realisation that 'job is after all rozi-roti and you cant mess with it' will have to don on him. I advised him to be a little more serious about his job. When I look at my life over the past couple of months, I see incident very similar to what happened to my friend. And I think its time for me to take the same medicine which I prescribed to him. While such incidents can seem scarily destabilizing, their purpose is not to break us but to shake us into a new level of awareness. And as I graduate to this new level, I know I am falling in love, once again, all over again, all with myself, and I thank God for having given me the resilience to fall in love again and again.
Recently someone, who was very awed at how arrogant I am about my own self, asked me:
"Tum apneaap se bahut pyaar karti ho na?"
Though sounding filmy, I didnt hesitate in answering "Haan, main apni favorite hun!"

P.S. Lots of thougts, but same theme, all bundled up together, i am not sure how much justice have I done to the basic theme after all!

Sex, Guys & IIT days

2008-03-05T15:48:00.005+05:30

Was remembering IIT days once again....the 2years just flew by... but the memories they have left me with will probably last a life time...i guess thats the peculiar thing about good times...they seem to get over before you realise they were good...and once over, you are left behind with reminiscence...
The most standing out memories of IIT are the ones that have to do with gender dynamics. I think there is a lot of awareness amongst general public about the skewed sex ratio in IITs. IITK in my times was no exception. Infact guys in IIT would not only complain about the general paucity of 'womenfolk' but also their quality in general. Though a lot of girls in IIT are going to hate me for making this public in writing, but i cant resist sharing what Yash- my batchmate in MBA, once commented with reference to girls in IIT. He said "There are only two species in this world, where the male is more beautiful than the female. One is the peacocks & the other is IITians". Now this pithy reflects two things about gender dynamics in IIT, one being very obvious and the other being the arrogance & audacity an average IIT male develops. From whatever experiences I have with the opposite sex in general, I know that men categorize women on the basis of beauty as follows: One set of women being 'beautiful' & the other 'very beautiful'. So an IIT guy claiming that in their specie IIT boys in general are more beautiful than IIT girls is indeed an arrogant & audacious claim. Nevertheless, women in IIT just grow upto live with such remarks , no matter how audacious they are.
I happened to meet Neha ( another batchmate of mine from MBA) on the weekend that went by. While remembering our MBA days, I talked about this comment from Yash, and to most people's surprise, both of us rolled with laughter thereafter. I can tell my reasons for feeling so tickled, and I assume Neha's was no different. I still am chuckling while I write this, I dont know what makes the IIT guys feel so frustrated about not having beautiful women all around them. It not only has to do with IITians but the male specie in general. Their need to have beauty around them seems to be so pressing that Neha & I couldnt resist laughing at the very thought of them living in paucity of the same. I mean look at us girls who lived in IIT, with water water all around but not a drop to drink. If Neha & I were to begin complaining, we could well get frustrated about the guy who Neha looked blankly at when he tried to impress her by talking about exotic financial derivatives, or the guy who attempted a pass at me by expressing his desire of learning how to communicate effectively in English language( thank God i could read his ulterior motives because had I accepted him as a student I would have forgotten English myself).
All I mean to say is that while the dearth & low quality of girls in IIT is quite evident, the abudant availability of the other sex doesnt ensure a reasonable qualityof the same. However, considering that the 'more beautiful sex' of the IIT specie clamors, I cant resist sympathizing with them...
sorry guys...you got to live with this one!! ;)

'Mercurian Thoughts'

2008-03-04T17:55:00.005+05:30

Recently someone asked me why my blog was named 'mercurianthoughts' and not simply shubhamnath. For those of you who are thinking i like to use fancy names instead of straight and simple ones, you are wrong!!. Infact i would probably never use anything that can possibly replace my name, where otherwise it would be most apt. I mean, i really have to have a strong reason for using something instead of my name. I love my name!!...and inspite of recurrent remarks like 'shubham is a boy's name', 'it could have been shubha instead', i still love it!! And having lived with it for 25 years already there is no chance i consider it unworthy of me or myself unworthy of it!!
So where does 'mercurianthoughts' creap up from??
For those who havent kept in touch with me in recent time( or rather for those of you, with whom i have lost touch in recent times - and i know the list of such people is quite long- sorry :P), off late i have developed 'reading horoscopes' as one of my hobbies. Now wait a minute, i am not heading towards becoming Pt. Shubham Nath. That sounds quite LS to me!!
but its just an interest that i have developed, I dont read any books or anything, I just do case study analysis of whatever charts i can put my hands on, and when i get stuck with some interpretations, i just google out!!
I have become reasonably good with it, though i am sure it will be years of study before i can qualify as a full-fledged astrologer. As of now, i have become reasonably good studying my own horoscope, and from whatever i have interpreted from my horoscope i realise that in my chart Mercury is the strongest planets - its exalted, its the atmakaraka, it is in the trine, it reflects upon my house of communication which is what Mercury is best at: chit-chatting, communication (this sentence was only for those who understand horoscopes and planetary dynamics a little bit). Also mercury in my planet gives me the opening of becoming a thoughtful philosopher. so when i created this blog i had wanted to use it to outlet my philosophical thoughts, which is why i called it 'mercurianthoughts'. For a lot of you, who think like shakespeare - 'whats in a name?', this explaination may have sounded futile. And for those others who are still in awe, that an educated, modern girl like shubham is wasting her time on a packet of kaju ka barfi: 4 of which look uneaten and the other 8 half eaten, let me tell u, not only is it my hobby, i quite ardently believe in it too... what to believe in it and to what extent i believe in it has a lot too do with how much confidence i have on the person who is doing the interpretation. A good interprator can make all the difference in my willingness to believe in the interpretations & predictions. How to be sure, how good an interprator is, is another subjective issue. Its an amazing science u see, there are more exceptions than there are rules...has to be...life is like that!!...and which is why the experience, an interprator carries with him in terms of understanding life & people has a lot to do with how well he/she will be able to interpret the chart. Its almost like an advanced OB course. The only difference is i dont have a professor like Rahul Varman teaching me ....ok, that did hurt somewhere...and for my batchmates who had seen my passion in his classes( and off them)...they know where ;)
Coming back to my belief in horoscopes, in recent times thanks to this new shauk of mine, i almost advised someone to call off their wedding because their compatibility behavior as per the chart wasnt convincing!! I am sure the guy in distress, who had come to me in hope of finding encouragement to go ahead, must be cursing me now.The wedding isnt called off yet...but one more time the guy comes to me, it sure would be!!
Even though my new shauk has begun to show casualties already, I insist on pursuing it & its genres. Vaise, I dont think anything in the genre of astrological sciences is as convincing as is horoscopes using the packet of kaju barfi. There are others like tarot, which are pretty much in vogue...not that i would chase the fashionable, but most astrological websites that I google out often bundle up these two sciences( if i can call the latter a science...i m not too sure!!), so in the process of learning charts I have also begun to learn tarot. As I always say, I dont follow fashion, but it seems fashion cant stop following me! ;)

Arranging the Love Marraige!!

2008-02-27T20:10:00.004+05:30

Over the past few months, I have been interacting with a lot of people who are aspiring to get married- some of them even having got succesful in their aspiration, few of them stuck with dwindling decision, and some others still waiting!! One thing I have realised, that the matrimonial market catering to 'arranged marraiges' is a very vibrant one, and for someone with the time, energy & patience- doing a full fledged study and analyses can offer a lot of meat.

Time and again the matrimonial market has been classified into two segments by virtue of the way things are fixed up: Love marriage being one, Arranged marriage being the other. the percent of target population falling into each of these have quite varied over time. In recent times, with the former having gone up abruptly, the latter has been in immense pressure & has had a structural change in its very definition. The concept of love marraige has turned tables from 'loving the arranged marraige' to 'arranging the love marraige'. As I interacted with the segment aspiring to get married, I could feel that this metamorphisis is challenging the very definition of arranged marraige that I was brought up with.

The journey of 'loving the arranged marraige' relied on terms like compromise & adjustment, while the newer version trusts 'compatibility' as its forte. 'compatibility' is 'compatibility' and not compatibility, because some people of the newer generation ( like me) who are pretty conventional are finding it hard to understand the newer vocabulary. At this point of time, I cannot resist using this word, for the simple reason, that it is so much in vogue!!
Typical symptoms of the newer version are:

The rampant availability of dating & marraige portals, where the emphasis is on mutually getting to know the prospective brides & grooms.
Even marraiges that rely on parents' opinion dont see parents as the decision maker but a a fixer of blindates(so to say).
The average age of marraige having gone up...the prospective brides & grooms prefer to wait much longer in search of 'compatibility'.
The idea of 'going out' ( parties, hangouts, even office!!...where u r suppose to be working;)) to meet new people (ulterior motive being meeting people of the opposite sex).

I do find this whole business of testing 'compatibility' a little weird...but then every new generation has its own set of rules to offer, which the previous generation is a surprised spectator to.

Special appeal to all those who understand the term 'compatibility'...please come to my rescue...

Pessimism

2008-02-25T21:07:00.002+05:30

The advantage of being a pessimist is that you are either proven right or you are pleasantly surprised.

How would one situation be different from the other?
Well I sure can talk about the later i.e. being 'pleasantly surprised', because that is what I have just undergone.

Some outcomes of pessimism leading to a pleasant surprise:

You are very happy...but obvious!!
You tend to become superstitious about being pessimistic, in order to get the desired outcome...I am not too sure how well that would work in the long run though!!
Your planning goes a little haywire...you were planning some things based on a conservative outcome...suddenly you have the unexpected result..and of course you dont have a gameplan to handle it...
You feel a little stupid..."why did i think the otherwise in the first place??..this was obviously gonna happen"...yes of course!...the typical hindsight feeling of folly!!
Even the trite begins to look exceptional...there are degrees of being pleasantly surprised...just because you were in a essimistic state you undermined the worth of the outcome or else there could have been much more that you could have got.

All in all, being pessimistic has its own upsides...

Lessons learnt

2008-02-19T15:32:00.002+05:30

Talking of train experiences worth remembering...I remember a case of ticketless traveling that I was into.
It was a journey from Kanpur to Delhi some time in the end of 2005, when I was a student at IIT. I think I was heading towards Delhi for my dussehra vacations. Though my parents were in Pune then, I don’t remember what was bringing me to Delhi...anyway!!
Ohhh...now I remember, those were the days’ when doing a Ph.D. was all I ever wanted in life...so I was going to Delhi to take my GMAT. That exam was another joke that I had played on myself...more on that later!!
It was the lucknow shatabdi that passed by Kanpur station, halting for a few minutes. It was suppose to take the entire evening thereafter to reach Delhi. But trains were the best way to get out of Kanpur to any metro, so I was indeed using the best means of getting out of Kanpur. Though the mean being used was best but not the journey...so to say..
Well, I hurried onto my designated compartment (I did have a designated compartment, what did u think, I wasn’t even carrying a ticket, of course I was!!) as soon as the train came to a halt. I didn’t have much time to check for nitty-gritty’s except the correct compartment number. With a two minute halt, u aren’t even expected to check on any other details...
Well, I was inside the compartment, all relieved of the anxiety. Anxiety of whether I will be able to board it in such a short duration of time; And to top it all, I was not in Maharashtra where earmarking of bogies is impeccable. It was just a station in UP, and the rest can well be understood by those who have lived there, and even better understood by those who have never, because places in UP & Bihar are more infamous than there actual practical self...I better not elaborate on that...it a sensitive issue these days, and specially sitting in some 5 sq ft of space that can be traced back as property of Maharashtra govt, I better not even talk about it...
Once on board, I was immediately on task to find my seat. When I finally pushed through the commotion of all having newly boarded the train onto my assigned sat, I saw an uncle ji of what looked like a sweet old couple well ensconced on my seat. I politely mentioned my reservation on the seat number only to be even more politely replied that the seat was assigned to them. Ok, for sure there was some confusion. And my policy in such situation was to let the commotion settle down and then ask TTE for some resolution. While I waited on for the same to happen...someone from the milieu suggested me to check the date on the ticket. Good God, could that be where I went wrong, or did the uncle-aunty have it wrong. Considering that auntyji's seat wasn’t for the taking, I was wrong!!
And yes indeed I was...that was my first reaction,
Oh shit, how did I do this?...that was the second of several levels of reaction that followed, all of which indicated what an idiot I was to be travelling 24 hours in advance of the schedule.
Well, they say being before time is a good habit, being so much before time, I am not too sure if that was ever advised to anyone...and it sure didn’t work for me!!
What followed was a surge of feeling like confusion, shock & embarrassment!!
Outside of the list of feelings there was a practical situation at hand, and my little knowledge of railway rules only made my practical situation feel no better...of course I knew that Indian railways wasn’t going to pat my back for being well before time & the couple wale uncle ji is sure not going to beg the TTE for forgiveness & share his seat with me...however, I wonder how that arrangement would have been...would he decide to go half way - me in his lap & the other half - him in mine. Auntyji was sure not going to like that!!...anyway, since that wasn’t happening, I didn’t have to bother about whether auntyji would have liked it or not. In simple words, my situation was that I was a ticket less traveler on the Lucknow Shatabdi Express, having boarded from Kanpur. Now what that meant to the Indian railways was a fine of twice as much as the ticket cost. I ran a mental calculation of what my wallet looked like, only to realize that perhaps I have as much to buy another ticket but not enough to pay for another one. Thank God, it were the days when i preferred cash vis-à-vis cards. The interesting thing was that what it meant to Indian railways was neither my concern nor would it be the TTE's. Now all depended on what it meant to the TTE & how good was I at negotiating a situation in which the ball was far from coming to my side of the court.
So finally the protagonist of what I was expecting to be a negotiation session arrived on the scene. He gave me a place in another boggie & told me that he will get back to me in a while. Not for a second did I feel that he would desert me in this new seat that he had traced out for me, because he had spotted an opportunity to make bucks and there was no chance he would miss out on it. He would have wanted to give me utmost attention so that he could have a good negotiation, favoring him. I had no choice but to wait for him to return back to me.
He did come back to me, I dont remeber after how long. The whole incident now is a vague memory and a unique experience on which I can lol.
When he did return his first ploy was to take out his reciept book ( which every TTE is provided with by the Indian railways). I must say the government equips these people well for creating havoc in situations such as the one I was in. The sight of the reciept book was good enough to strike panic in me. But the while he had taken to get back to me, I had guessed that I would have a sight of the dreaded thing and so I was quite prepared to handle it. I begged & pleaded him on account of not having enough money to pay the scheduled fine. And as I said that, he thought to himself "Even better" He called me outside the boggie near the toilet area in hope of carrying out a surreptious negotiation. I told him my financial constraint (which wasnt as much a constraint as an excuse to get away cheap). And I also used the tool that any IIT- Kanpur student does in such a situation, show him your ID card. The power of that ID card was well-known to any IITian. I had heard of cases where IIT guys on bikes used to it in place of their Driver's license in Kanpur city. The purpose of me showing the TTE the ID card was dual - one tell him that I was no street side vagabond who does this as a usual practice, infact I belong to the IIT. second is to let him know that I were only a student and that your paying capacity was limited. Well, I guess I got both the messages across, so he asked me to take my seat. That didnt mean I was acquitted. That only meant that, how much was to be paid would be negotiated later.
And the later came very late in the journey. Just after ghaziabad, when the train was pulling into Delhi area, I was once again called to the toilet area, this time with the cash. The matter was settled at the cost of one ticket, Rs. 695/- easily rounded off to 700/-. I couldnt have complained. I was a ticketless traveller & so I had to pay for the ticket atleast. To account for the money that I had spent for the next day's ticket, I had the choice of getting it cancelled the next morning. The cancellation charges could be as much as 30% but then, atleast I could pay 30% for a lesson that I learnt that day, and very simply the lesson was, check for the right dates before getting travel tickets booked...

Normal is boring!!

2008-02-18T15:46:00.001+05:30

I slept through my destination-ed station in the train today...
Of the numerous journeys that I have done between Mumbai & Pune (some nearing ordeals at times), it was the first time that I slept through one, and so much so that I didnt wake up till the train halted at Dadar station & was 5 seconds short of heading towards CST.
The reason behind it...
Well, very obviously the reason was that I didnt get enough sleep last night....
Enough sleep!!...now how much is that??...well in case of a a person like me it isnt short of 10 hours after a heavy day...
and was yesterday heavy enough??...
well it sure was...
with 8 hours in Chevrolet Tavera, from Pune to shirdi, with a four hour halt at shirdi....most of which was spent standing...
and to top it all a sleepless night before this long day so that the long day could be successfully executed...
well yes, it sure qualifies as a heavy day...
and after all that, the sleep that i got was not more than 4 hours, so it was obvious that i would have done what i never did on my way back from Pune to Mumbai in the past one and half years.
I pulled on my Jacket right over my head as soon as I boarded the AC Chair Car compartment of Deccan Queen Express. Right from the moment the train budged at 7.15 am to the moment it neared the railed bridge near Thane station( which was nearly at 10.00 am), nothing except the saddistic TTE woke me( for 20 seconds of what his daily chores & his entire purpose of being on board was). It was only after I realised that I was nearing thane did I move my jacket from over my head onto my shoulders in anticipation of Dadar station, which I guess( thats all I can do because I had slept again in the meanwhile) came about 12 minutes later.
The result...
Well, nothing too serious, I opened my eyes, looked outside the window towards what looked like a familiar sight( that it would have to anyone having lived in Mumbai, and gone around local training), it looked pretty much like Dadar Station!!
I picked up my belongings, which werent too many( thank God I believe in the "travel light to pune" policy) and rushed towrds the compartment door, which wasnt too far from my window seat, seat number 6. The sole man standing near the gate was God sent, for not only being there but also being prompt to my question, "Dadar??". I jumped off the train & turned around to see it budge & chhuk-chhuk out of the platform. Lucky me!!
If then else...
what if i would have slept through Dadar station??...in that case, someone would have woken me up when the train would have finally halted at CST...a shocked me would have got up, ambled out of CST station into what typically Mumbai Nagaria is pictured as. Cabbed towards Churchgate station & caught a Borivali bound train to get off at andheri station. now all that, if I would have stepped out of CST unatoned...
Boy, dont u get it...my ticket was from Pune to Dadar & a TTE at CST would have fancied atleast Rs. 50 from a criminal like me, who sleeps through an entire 3 hour journey and also her destination station.
Thank god, nothingof that sort happened, and if at all it would have happened, I would have really had to thank daddy for handing me in Rs. 200 early that morning, since my wallet wasnt loaded enough( well, "not loaded enough" is only overstating the weight of a 5 rupee note & few ATM & credit cards, none of which was equipped to satiate a corrupt TTE at CST station).
Alls well that ends well...
Thank God I woke up in time & thank God that I did manage some sleep, otherwise it would have been a sleepy Monday in office today, and thank God for all that happened, so many "to n fro" trips to Pune but no excitement...so to say, Normal was getting boring!!

The Myth of "Just Do IT"

2008-02-14T22:55:00.001+05:30

Shubham Nath
MBA class of 2006

Avant Garde March 2005

Information Technology introduced the first step towards the idiosyncrasy of a fully automated world. Its advent lit the ray of hope, that one-day life would be so convenient that pressing buttons and switches here and there would be all that would be required to accomplish our ends. But as they say the trailers are meant to pull you to the theatre, whether you sit through till ?The End? is your own prerogative. The appeal of the movie varies from person to person and so does its liking. In case of IT too, the feedback from the innovators was so positive in magnitude that it brought a tsunami in the adoption of the technology. People without thinking about the larger context of its utility and applicability, adopted it. But not many could sustain in the automated environment for long. Reasons of course varied from organization to organization:
Business and Technology are independent of each other.
A lot of organizations adopted IT under the impression that an automated environment would lead to more business generation. However, in due course of time it was realized that though IT can provide faster, better and informed decision-making, it is only a means to the ends and not the end itself. As was seen in the Indian banking industry, introduction of online banking by several MNC banks prompted indigenous banks like SBI to adopt it too. SBI?s attempt to automate was more of an attempt to stay abreast with the competition rather than to generate business. In case of SBI such an adoption of IT was justified but for many banks that have the legacy of serving rural populations as well, adoption of IT becomes a source of ambivalence. An attempt to stay abreast may lead to the loss of their niche markets, which lie in the rural areas.
Computers are only as good as the programmers
IT is only a platform to boost organizational practices; the onus of its success however still lies on the people working in the organization who use it. It is ultimately the innovations and initiatives of the employees, which lead to the success of the whole exercise, and after all ?The human brain is the best machine?. Also the implementation of IT opens doors to a whole new world of malpractices like avid use of Internet during work hours, hacking of confidential documents etc. These activities thus undermine the advantages of implementation of IT.
Contingencies are Inevitable
Even as automation promises the reduction in paperwork, most organizations wouldn?t take a risk of relying only on the automated version. Organizations prefer to mitigate the risk of loss of information owing to catastrophe by maintaining hard copy repositories of information. This practice on several occasions defeats the very purpose of implementation of IT, which was to reduce paperwork. Organizations that still insist on doing away with pen and paper keep backup servers in distant locations. This not only leads to nearly double capital investments but also leads to redundancies eg. Transferring all the transaction details at the end of the day to the remote location server may be painful and time consuming.
Acceptance of IT as a part and parcel of the milieu
Changes are an outcome of complex subtle interactions among people, process, products and places. Hence the stated goal of a change activity may turn out to be very different from the outcome. Owing to employee inertia towards change, the all-expensive and prestigious implementation of Information Technology may be reduced to a mere fa硤e, if there exists a communication gap in the management?s objective of introducing IT and the employees? motive of adopting IT. Observations show that in many organizations the presence of IT has been seen as means of additional task rather than as facilitators of task. The ability of an organisation to thus tackle the change exercise decides the success of the change exercise.
Hidden costs
A one-time investment in technology upgradations has been by far the trend of any new technology in the market. However in the fast changing world of information technology, obsolesce is a word that one hears as soon as one feels settled with the new technology. Implementation of IT as a one-time investment could thus be one of the major myths. As time progresses IT implementation becomes very demanding in terms of large-scale maintenance costs called upgradation costs. These are costs that are inevitable, for if the organization can?t bear upgradation costs then it has to consider its investment in IT as sunk and non-retrievable cost.
Thus in this cut throat competition Caveat Emptor! The swoosh may be hip and trendy, but calls for thinking before you ?Just Do IT!?

Based on students? project report of the course MBA611- Organization Structure and Design.

A Need to Think Beyond Serving

2008-02-14T22:52:00.001+05:30

Shubham Nath
MBA 2006

Avant Garde Nov 2004

?Size Matters?- Indeed it does! Being the seventh largest country of the world, housing the largest population and as the proud executer of the largest democracy- India enjoys the liberty of parenting its neighbors of the Indian subcontinent. The evidence can be seen at the Indo-Nepal border where the poor ?chinks? of the rural Himalayas cross over into the arms of parent India. As they flood all over Bihar and Bengal in search of employment as dhaba waiters or domestic helpers, I am struck of the Indian software Industry!
No matter how much the Indian economy boasts of a rising GDP and a booming IT sector, the truth is that the IT industry only confirms the poor status of the Indian economy. We sympathize with the Nepali kanchas when ironically we should be sympathizing with our software industry, which in spite of being so talented is willing to be exploited by the west at throw away prices. We pity the young kancha for cleaning up the left overs of what others have eaten; when actually we should be pitying our very own software industry which is rendering services and solutions to the innovations of the west while the west further innovates. And business conglomerates like TATAs only further this point when their most successful subsidiary TCS talks about ?industries we serve? and ?services we offer? on their official website, and though a ?products? category does feature, a click on it only justifies an attempt of face saving with products that TCS might have innovated ages ago and may well be obsolete today.
The government, I would say does have a role to play in the Indian entrepreneur?s obsession for the services sector. For a very long time the taxation policy didn?t include the services sector and that is what encouraged players both big and small to leap onto the government?s concession. However, the later amendment in the taxation policy proves our hypothesis of ?government?s role in instigating entrepreneurs towards the serving? wrong, because in spite of taxes the software industry still chose to serve.
As the kancha moves from dhaba to dhaba asking for work, I hear the echoes of the software companies in the global market, ?someone please give us work?. It?s a shame that in a nation with an intellectual capital as high as India, the industry, which should ideally have been at the helm of innovation, is actually moving from door to door selling its worth.
So is it the ?size? of the industry in the west, which is to be blamed for this nomadic exhibition of the software industry?
If that is what is attracting the Indian software players then we are at the helm of creating a vicious circle-where the western players through their innovation and Indian services bloat out of proportion and the Indian industry is reduced to a mere servant.
We can?t demean ourselves to mere servants!
The solution to this, thus, lies in a complete shift of paradigm that Indian entrepreneurs presently exhibit. There has to be a shift from the urge to provide services to creating products. Everybody appreciates the deskjet and laserjet of HP but no user ever thinks about the hundreds of Indian engineers who troubleshoot problems that HP faces in maintaining these products in the market working in world famous Indian IT companies. The reason is simple: you have to do something tangible to be recognized. The Indian software industry is like the tutor who although prepares the student for competition gets no recognition for the success of the student, its rather the course instructor who gets it all even though he walks out of the class at the end of the lecture bothering least about the reception of his instructions by the student.
As we exercise this shift in paradigm our greatest weapon shall be the realization off our ?self worth?. We indeed have to take advantage of the fact that in this world where the US is amongst the biggest innovators, people like bill Gates still bow to the IITs.
The Indian software industry has to stop behaving like the needy prostitute who mistakenly emphasizes her poverty and hence gets exploited. The realization must come that the prostitute who exercises the price of her womanhood is the one who dictates the price of her worth. She has to be shrewd enough to take advantage of the libido of the male community and not succumb to their strength. Yes, it is the cadre of the great engineers and managers who have to realize that the kind of education system that exists in India is indeed the best and that the world needs the best more than the best need the world.
?So all the software giants, stop being sissy, realize your worth, ?create? so that the world can see?defy all laws that say ?size matters!??

Implementing BASEL II

2008-02-13T17:27:00.001+05:30

Shubham Nath
MBA class of 2006

Avant Garde December 2004

The Origin
Basel was an attempt to reduce the number of bank failures by tying a bank's CAPITAL ADEQUACY RATIO to the risk of the loans it makes. For instance, there is less chance of a loan to the government going bad than a loan to, say, an Internet business. So the bank would not have to hold as much capital in reserve against the first loan as against the second. The first attempt to do this worldwide was by the Basel committee for international banking supervision in 1988. However, its system of judging the relative risk of different loans was crude. For instance, it penalized banks no more for making loans to a fly-by-night software company in Thailand than to Microsoft; no more for loans to South Korea, bailed out by the IMF in 1998, than to Switzerland. In 1998, "Basel 2" was proposed, using much more sophisticated risk classifications. However, controversy over these new classifications, and the cost to banks of administering the new approach, led to the introduction of Basel 2 being delayed until (at least) 2005.

The Revised Basel II
The Basel II Framework sets out the details for adopting more risk sensitive minimum capital requirements for banking organizations. The new framework reinforces these risk-sensitive requirements by laying out principles for banks to assess the adequacy of their capital and for supervisors to review such assessments to ensure banks have adequate capital to support their risks. It also seeks to strengthen market discipline by enhancing transparency in banks' financial reporting. Thus, we can broadly classify the accords of Basel II as follows:

Capital Adequacy requirement
Basel 2 intends to replace the existing approach by a system that would use external credit assessments for determining risk weights. It is intended that such an approach will also apply, either directly or indirectly and to varying degrees, to the risk weighting of exposures to banks, securities firms and corporates. The result will be reduced risk weights for high quality corporate credits, and introduction of a higher-than-100% risk weight for certain low quality exposures. A new risk weighting scheme to address asset securitisation, and the application of a 20% credit conversion factor for certain types of short-term commitments are also proposed.

Risk based Supervision
This ensures that the bank's capital position is consistent with its overall risk profile and strategy, thus encouraging early supervisory intervention. Supervisors should have the ability to require banks to hold capital in excess of minimum regulatory capital ratios.
Also, the new framework stresses the importance of bank management developing an internal capital assessment process and setting targets for capital that are commensurate with the bank's particular risk profile and control environment. This internal process then would be subject to supervisory review and intervention, where appropriate.

Market Disclosures
This strategy will encourage high disclosure standards and enhance the role of market participants in encouraging banks to hold adequate capital.

Opportunities in Store for India
The Basel II norms are in line for implementation by the year 2006. Though not mandatory for all countries to follow this regime, many including India are likely to adopt it. And the plausible advantages that this would have in store for India would be both banking as well as non-banking.
Banking Opportunities
With second highest growth rate in the world and huge scientific and general work force, India is now well recognized as one of the fast emerging nations in the world. A sound and evolved banking system would thus be a prime requirement to support the hectic and enhanced levels of domestic and international economic activities in the country. Though India is credited with a very strong banking system, in comparison to many peer group countries, still some better risk practices by Indian banks are required. A majority of Indian banks are either at nascent or at a very low level of competence in Credit, Market and Operational risk measurement and management system. They are lagging behind in use of modern risk methodologies and tools in comparison to their western counterparts. Economic reforms, higher market dynamics and large-scale globalization demand a robust risk management system in the Indian banks. As suggested by the recent Global Trust bank fiasco the current level of risk based supervision and market disclosures are also not very satisfactory in the Indian banking system. Basel II gives an opportunity and a framework for improvement to the Indian banks. A Basel II compliant banking system will further enhance the image of India in the League of Nations. The country rating of India will surely improve, and consequently facilitate a higher capital inflow in the country. This will tremendously help India to move on the higher growth trajectory in the coming decades.

Non-Banking Opportunities
The major advantage of Basel II to India is going to be in the area of services ? predominantly IT and manpower. The banks all over the world will have to make huge investments in order to be the Basel II compliant. These investments will be mainly in the areas of information technology systems (software tools, database management, Business Intelligence, hardware), training etc. to create risk infrastructure to address the three compliance pillars of the Basel II. Here is the opportunity for consultancy and IT companies in India and abroad. Indian IT companies with an established reputation of system implementation and service support can and must use this opportunity to enhance their business from the financial services domain. A broad understanding among WTO countries on GATS (General Agreement on Trade and Services) should help in the movement of cheaper Indian service personnel across the globe. IT/ITES industry in banking and financial services sector can enhance the present level of revenue from both on and off site services related to Basel II compliance. Some of the Indian IT majors like I ? flex, Infosys and Wipro are believed to be, in the advanced stage of preparation in terms of product and services, to embark upon the business opportunities provided by Basel II.