Arranging the Love Marraige!!

Over the past few months, I have been interacting with a lot of people who are aspiring to get married- some of them even having got succesful in their aspiration, few of them stuck with dwindling decision, and some others still waiting!! One thing I have realised, that the matrimonial market catering to 'arranged marraiges' is a very vibrant one, and for someone with the time, energy & patience- doing a full fledged study and analyses can offer a lot of meat.

Time and again the matrimonial market has been classified into two segments by virtue of the way things are fixed up: Love marriage being one, Arranged marriage being the other. the percent of target population falling into each of these have quite varied over time. In recent times, with the former having gone up abruptly, the latter has been in immense pressure & has had a structural change in its very definition. The concept of love marraige has turned tables from 'loving the arranged marraige' to 'arranging the love marraige'. As I interacted with the segment aspiring to get married, I could feel that this metamorphisis is challenging the very definition of arranged marraige that I was brought up with.

The journey of 'loving the arranged marraige' relied on terms like compromise & adjustment, while the newer version trusts 'compatibility' as its forte. 'compatibility' is 'compatibility' and not compatibility, because some people of the newer generation ( like me) who are pretty conventional are finding it hard to understand the newer vocabulary. At this point of time, I cannot resist using this word, for the simple reason, that it is so much in vogue!!
Typical symptoms of the newer version are:

• The rampant availability of dating & marraige portals, where the emphasis is on mutually getting to know the prospective brides & grooms.
• Even marraiges that rely on parents' opinion dont see parents as the decision maker but a a fixer of blindates(so to say).
• The average age of marraige having gone up...the prospective brides & grooms prefer to wait much longer in search of 'compatibility'.
• The idea of 'going out' ( parties, hangouts, even office!!...where u r suppose to be working;)) to meet new people (ulterior motive being meeting people of the opposite sex).

I do find this whole business of testing 'compatibility' a little weird...but then every new generation has its own set of rules to offer, which the previous generation is a surprised spectator to.

Special appeal to all those who understand the term 'compatibility'...please come to my rescue...

Pessimism

The advantage of being a pessimist is that you are either proven right or you are pleasantly surprised.

How would one situation be different from the other?
Well I sure can talk about the later i.e. being 'pleasantly surprised', because that is what I have just undergone.

Some outcomes of pessimism leading to a pleasant surprise:

• You are very happy...but obvious!!
• You tend to become superstitious about being pessimistic, in order to get the desired outcome...I am not too sure how well that would work in the long run though!!
• Your planning goes a little haywire...you were planning some things based on a conservative outcome...suddenly you have the unexpected result..and of course you dont have a gameplan to handle it...
• You feel a little stupid..."why did i think the otherwise in the first place??..this was obviously gonna happen"...yes of course!...the typical hindsight feeling of folly!!
• Even the trite begins to look exceptional...there are degrees of being pleasantly surprised...just because you were in a essimistic state you undermined the worth of the outcome or else there could have been much more that you could have got.

All in all, being pessimistic has its own upsides...

Lessons learnt

Talking of train experiences worth remembering...I remember a case of ticketless traveling that I was into.
It was a journey from Kanpur to Delhi some time in the end of 2005, when I was a student at IIT. I think I was heading towards Delhi for my dussehra vacations. Though my parents were in Pune then, I don’t remember what was bringing me to Delhi...anyway!!
Ohhh...now I remember, those were the days’ when doing a Ph.D. was all I ever wanted in life...so I was going to Delhi to take my GMAT. That exam was another joke that I had played on myself...more on that later!!
It was the lucknow shatabdi that passed by Kanpur station, halting for a few minutes. It was suppose to take the entire evening thereafter to reach Delhi. But trains were the best way to get out of Kanpur to any metro, so I was indeed using the best means of getting out of Kanpur. Though the mean being used was best but not the journey...so to say..
Well, I hurried onto my designated compartment (I did have a designated compartment, what did u think, I wasn’t even carrying a ticket, of course I was!!) as soon as the train came to a halt. I didn’t have much time to check for nitty-gritty’s except the correct compartment number. With a two minute halt, u aren’t even expected to check on any other details...
Well, I was inside the compartment, all relieved of the anxiety. Anxiety of whether I will be able to board it in such a short duration of time; And to top it all, I was not in Maharashtra where earmarking of bogies is impeccable. It was just a station in UP, and the rest can well be understood by those who have lived there, and even better understood by those who have never, because places in UP & Bihar are more infamous than there actual practical self...I better not elaborate on that...it a sensitive issue these days, and specially sitting in some 5 sq ft of space that can be traced back as property of Maharashtra govt, I better not even talk about it...
Once on board, I was immediately on task to find my seat. When I finally pushed through the commotion of all having newly boarded the train onto my assigned sat, I saw an uncle ji of what looked like a sweet old couple well ensconced on my seat. I politely mentioned my reservation on the seat number only to be even more politely replied that the seat was assigned to them. Ok, for sure there was some confusion. And my policy in such situation was to let the commotion settle down and then ask TTE for some resolution. While I waited on for the same to happen...someone from the milieu suggested me to check the date on the ticket. Good God, could that be where I went wrong, or did the uncle-aunty have it wrong. Considering that auntyji's seat wasn’t for the taking, I was wrong!!
And yes indeed I was...that was my first reaction,
Oh shit, how did I do this?...that was the second of several levels of reaction that followed, all of which indicated what an idiot I was to be travelling 24 hours in advance of the schedule.
Well, they say being before time is a good habit, being so much before time, I am not too sure if that was ever advised to anyone...and it sure didn’t work for me!!
What followed was a surge of feeling like confusion, shock & embarrassment!!
Outside of the list of feelings there was a practical situation at hand, and my little knowledge of railway rules only made my practical situation feel no better...of course I knew that Indian railways wasn’t going to pat my back for being well before time & the couple wale uncle ji is sure not going to beg the TTE for forgiveness & share his seat with me...however, I wonder how that arrangement would have been...would he decide to go half way - me in his lap & the other half - him in mine. Auntyji was sure not going to like that!!...anyway, since that wasn’t happening, I didn’t have to bother about whether auntyji would have liked it or not. In simple words, my situation was that I was a ticket less traveler on the Lucknow Shatabdi Express, having boarded from Kanpur. Now what that meant to the Indian railways was a fine of twice as much as the ticket cost. I ran a mental calculation of what my wallet looked like, only to realize that perhaps I have as much to buy another ticket but not enough to pay for another one. Thank God, it were the days when i preferred cash vis-à-vis cards. The interesting thing was that what it meant to Indian railways was neither my concern nor would it be the TTE's. Now all depended on what it meant to the TTE & how good was I at negotiating a situation in which the ball was far from coming to my side of the court.
So finally the protagonist of what I was expecting to be a negotiation session arrived on the scene. He gave me a place in another boggie & told me that he will get back to me in a while. Not for a second did I feel that he would desert me in this new seat that he had traced out for me, because he had spotted an opportunity to make bucks and there was no chance he would miss out on it. He would have wanted to give me utmost attention so that he could have a good negotiation, favoring him. I had no choice but to wait for him to return back to me.
He did come back to me, I dont remeber after how long. The whole incident now is a vague memory and a unique experience on which I can lol.
When he did return his first ploy was to take out his reciept book ( which every TTE is provided with by the Indian railways). I must say the government equips these people well for creating havoc in situations such as the one I was in. The sight of the reciept book was good enough to strike panic in me. But the while he had taken to get back to me, I had guessed that I would have a sight of the dreaded thing and so I was quite prepared to handle it. I begged & pleaded him on account of not having enough money to pay the scheduled fine. And as I said that, he thought to himself "Even better" He called me outside the boggie near the toilet area in hope of carrying out a surreptious negotiation. I told him my financial constraint (which wasnt as much a constraint as an excuse to get away cheap). And I also used the tool that any IIT- Kanpur student does in such a situation, show him your ID card. The power of that ID card was well-known to any IITian. I had heard of cases where IIT guys on bikes used to it in place of their Driver's license in Kanpur city. The purpose of me showing the TTE the ID card was dual - one tell him that I was no street side vagabond who does this as a usual practice, infact I belong to the IIT. second is to let him know that I were only a student and that your paying capacity was limited. Well, I guess I got both the messages across, so he asked me to take my seat. That didnt mean I was acquitted. That only meant that, how much was to be paid would be negotiated later.
And the later came very late in the journey. Just after ghaziabad, when the train was pulling into Delhi area, I was once again called to the toilet area, this time with the cash. The matter was settled at the cost of one ticket, Rs. 695/- easily rounded off to 700/-. I couldnt have complained. I was a ticketless traveller & so I had to pay for the ticket atleast. To account for the money that I had spent for the next day's ticket, I had the choice of getting it cancelled the next morning. The cancellation charges could be as much as 30% but then, atleast I could pay 30% for a lesson that I learnt that day, and very simply the lesson was, check for the right dates before getting travel tickets booked...

Normal is boring!!

I slept through my destination-ed station in the train today...
Of the numerous journeys that I have done between Mumbai & Pune (some nearing ordeals at times), it was the first time that I slept through one, and so much so that I didnt wake up till the train halted at Dadar station & was 5 seconds short of heading towards CST.
The reason behind it...
Well, very obviously the reason was that I didnt get enough sleep last night....
Enough sleep!!...now how much is that??...well in case of a a person like me it isnt short of 10 hours after a heavy day...
and was yesterday heavy enough??...
well it sure was...
with 8 hours in Chevrolet Tavera, from Pune to shirdi, with a four hour halt at shirdi....most of which was spent standing...
and to top it all a sleepless night before this long day so that the long day could be successfully executed...
well yes, it sure qualifies as a heavy day...
and after all that, the sleep that i got was not more than 4 hours, so it was obvious that i would have done what i never did on my way back from Pune to Mumbai in the past one and half years.
I pulled on my Jacket right over my head as soon as I boarded the AC Chair Car compartment of Deccan Queen Express. Right from the moment the train budged at 7.15 am to the moment it neared the railed bridge near Thane station( which was nearly at 10.00 am), nothing except the saddistic TTE woke me( for 20 seconds of what his daily chores & his entire purpose of being on board was). It was only after I realised that I was nearing thane did I move my jacket from over my head onto my shoulders in anticipation of Dadar station, which I guess( thats all I can do because I had slept again in the meanwhile) came about 12 minutes later.
The result...
Well, nothing too serious, I opened my eyes, looked outside the window towards what looked like a familiar sight( that it would have to anyone having lived in Mumbai, and gone around local training), it looked pretty much like Dadar Station!!
I picked up my belongings, which werent too many( thank God I believe in the "travel light to pune" policy) and rushed towrds the compartment door, which wasnt too far from my window seat, seat number 6. The sole man standing near the gate was God sent, for not only being there but also being prompt to my question, "Dadar??". I jumped off the train & turned around to see it budge & chhuk-chhuk out of the platform. Lucky me!!
If then else...
what if i would have slept through Dadar station??...in that case, someone would have woken me up when the train would have finally halted at CST...a shocked me would have got up, ambled out of CST station into what typically Mumbai Nagaria is pictured as. Cabbed towards Churchgate station & caught a Borivali bound train to get off at andheri station. now all that, if I would have stepped out of CST unatoned...
Boy, dont u get it...my ticket was from Pune to Dadar & a TTE at CST would have fancied atleast Rs. 50 from a criminal like me, who sleeps through an entire 3 hour journey and also her destination station.
Thank god, nothingof that sort happened, and if at all it would have happened, I would have really had to thank daddy for handing me in Rs. 200 early that morning, since my wallet wasnt loaded enough( well, "not loaded enough" is only overstating the weight of a 5 rupee note & few ATM & credit cards, none of which was equipped to satiate a corrupt TTE at CST station).
Alls well that ends well...
Thank God I woke up in time & thank God that I did manage some sleep, otherwise it would have been a sleepy Monday in office today, and thank God for all that happened, so many "to n fro" trips to Pune but no excitement...so to say, Normal was getting boring!!

The Myth of "Just Do IT"

Shubham Nath
MBA class of 2006

Avant Garde March 2005

Information Technology introduced the first step towards the idiosyncrasy of a fully automated world. Its advent lit the ray of hope, that one-day life would be so convenient that pressing buttons and switches here and there would be all that would be required to accomplish our ends. But as they say the trailers are meant to pull you to the theatre, whether you sit through till ?The End? is your own prerogative. The appeal of the movie varies from person to person and so does its liking. In case of IT too, the feedback from the innovators was so positive in magnitude that it brought a tsunami in the adoption of the technology. People without thinking about the larger context of its utility and applicability, adopted it. But not many could sustain in the automated environment for long. Reasons of course varied from organization to organization:
Business and Technology are independent of each other.
A lot of organizations adopted IT under the impression that an automated environment would lead to more business generation. However, in due course of time it was realized that though IT can provide faster, better and informed decision-making, it is only a means to the ends and not the end itself. As was seen in the Indian banking industry, introduction of online banking by several MNC banks prompted indigenous banks like SBI to adopt it too. SBI?s attempt to automate was more of an attempt to stay abreast with the competition rather than to generate business. In case of SBI such an adoption of IT was justified but for many banks that have the legacy of serving rural populations as well, adoption of IT becomes a source of ambivalence. An attempt to stay abreast may lead to the loss of their niche markets, which lie in the rural areas.
Computers are only as good as the programmers
IT is only a platform to boost organizational practices; the onus of its success however still lies on the people working in the organization who use it. It is ultimately the innovations and initiatives of the employees, which lead to the success of the whole exercise, and after all ?The human brain is the best machine?. Also the implementation of IT opens doors to a whole new world of malpractices like avid use of Internet during work hours, hacking of confidential documents etc. These activities thus undermine the advantages of implementation of IT.
Contingencies are Inevitable
Even as automation promises the reduction in paperwork, most organizations wouldn?t take a risk of relying only on the automated version. Organizations prefer to mitigate the risk of loss of information owing to catastrophe by maintaining hard copy repositories of information. This practice on several occasions defeats the very purpose of implementation of IT, which was to reduce paperwork. Organizations that still insist on doing away with pen and paper keep backup servers in distant locations. This not only leads to nearly double capital investments but also leads to redundancies eg. Transferring all the transaction details at the end of the day to the remote location server may be painful and time consuming.
Acceptance of IT as a part and parcel of the milieu
Changes are an outcome of complex subtle interactions among people, process, products and places. Hence the stated goal of a change activity may turn out to be very different from the outcome. Owing to employee inertia towards change, the all-expensive and prestigious implementation of Information Technology may be reduced to a mere fa硤e, if there exists a communication gap in the management?s objective of introducing IT and the employees? motive of adopting IT. Observations show that in many organizations the presence of IT has been seen as means of additional task rather than as facilitators of task. The ability of an organisation to thus tackle the change exercise decides the success of the change exercise.
Hidden costs
A one-time investment in technology upgradations has been by far the trend of any new technology in the market. However in the fast changing world of information technology, obsolesce is a word that one hears as soon as one feels settled with the new technology. Implementation of IT as a one-time investment could thus be one of the major myths. As time progresses IT implementation becomes very demanding in terms of large-scale maintenance costs called upgradation costs. These are costs that are inevitable, for if the organization can?t bear upgradation costs then it has to consider its investment in IT as sunk and non-retrievable cost.
Thus in this cut throat competition Caveat Emptor! The swoosh may be hip and trendy, but calls for thinking before you ?Just Do IT!?

Based on students? project report of the course MBA611- Organization Structure and Design.